Prince Valium

I dreamed that when Alex came over to pick me up, he had gotten his hair cut like Prince Valium, the sleepy prince from Spaceballs. You know, the guy that Druish Princess Vespa was supposed to marry before Lone Star and Barf saved her. That old guy. Anyway, Alex looked just like him, bangs, hair curled under at the ends and maybe even a little lip gloss.

I looked at him in horror- I could not understand why he would do such a thing to his appearance. Reading my mind he says "You wanted me to try to be more fashionable." He became more and more amused the more I stared in horror. He batted his luxurious eyelashes at me, puckered his shiny lips and started to sing, "America, FUCK YEAH!" his favorite line from Team America. This guy with a Prince Valium haircut is taunting me?!?!

I just stood there wondering if we really had to leave the house that night.

Tailgating Table and All + Some Others

I had another group of extremely disjointed dreams last night and this morning. I ate a Cheesy Gordita Crunch before bed. I wonder if that's what did it.

1. I was "tailgating" with my family following some kind of concert. I think it was after seeing a play or orchestra or something because it was in a big auditorium. My cousins and I all texted each other to meet up in one place. We exited the building to find my mother setting up a crazy spread on these silver folding tables with white paper tablecloths outside a warehouse. It was on a busy street and the air was dirty. She'd made a baked brie and a bunch of "sausage rolls," which were giant hot dog looking things wrapped in fried dough. I kept trying to take pictures of my cousins Luai, taken between two rolls of paper towels, but every time I aimed the camera right at him, it would take a picture right next to him. When he did appear in the picture, he had enormous buck teeth.

Also, a hearse kept getting in the frame, and I worried about seeming inconsiderate to the people involved in the funeral since I was taking a picture of the hearse. Then I realized the hearse was pulling us and the table on a trailer that was hitched behind it. We were moving, tailgating table and all.

2. I was Samantha from Sex and the City and somebody was proposing to me. I cried really really hard because I couldn't marry this person, but it was "the perfect ring." Apparently I really had that whole Samantha character captured pretty well. The ring was either a yellow or light green color and was some kind of stone that wasn't a diamond.

3. I could see the inside of my eyes really well and everything that was going on. There was a black, blurry looking thing flying around that I thought was maybe a bat. I tried really hard to open my eyes but I couldn't do it. Then I saw an eyelash and it was swirling around in rapid, tiny circles.

4. I received an email from a 5 year old child and at the end it said "eagerly awaiting your response."

Eyebrow Superstore

I dreamed I was at an airport. Once I was through security, I started running, but then realized I had plenty of time. I started browsing, noting that "the bagel place" was now called "Christie's" and it was a fancy-shmancy lunch place with giant glass windows.

I walked past a giant store called Eyebrow Superstore. Now, being one to grasp any opportunity for a quick "gettin' my eyebrows did" moment, I walked inside the store. There were about five separate "pedicure stations" (all of these things had names in my head - not sure what they were or meant though), each of which was filled with really awful people - all impolite and bossy and snotty. I got out of there quickly. I headed towards the "retail area" which I assumed was where I could get my eyebrows did, and saw a giant shelf with hundred of pristine white boxes with black block lettering that spelled "Laser Eyebrow Removal."

"This isn't what I signed up for!" I thought to myself. I didn't want laser eyebrow removal - just a simple wax or something! I tried to get out of there, fast, but every which way I turned, I encountered either more "pedicure stations" or people in white lab coats, holding samples of something.

The dream ended there.

Coca Cola Contacts

I dreamed I had taken out my contacts because they had makeup all over them - I'd previously done it up for the sexy party I'd been at earlier that night. I put each contact lens in separate plastic cups. Lynn watched, saying "This is a great idea, Reem." I then proceeded to pour, from a can, Coca Cola into each glass. I filled the one with the right contact up almost to the brim. The other one, only about a third of the way.

As soon as I finished pouring, I realized what I'd done. "Shit, Lynn, what the hell was that?" I asked. She just laughed.

Later I discussed the positive aspects of going through people's backyard to get places, as opposed to sticking to the main streets, and Emil and I did homework and filled backpacks with looseleaf paper. And my parents had a billion guests at their house, and we kept having to clean up really fast.