so simple part 2

Just like kittymodern only 3 days ago, I too had a dream that I understood football! I felt all relieved while I was watching it, like "Riiiiight. THIS is how they get points. Field goals."

I can't believe of all things that could be themes on this blog, it is FOOTBALL. I'm a little amazed and disappointed in us.

so simple.

I had a dream that I understood football.

Russell Simmons, Mom, and I in the Minivan

Well sir, I had a funny dream last night. I dreamed that Russell Simmons was driving my mother and I around in a minivan. He sat in the driver's seat, and mom and I sat in the way back.

We got pulled over because none of us were wearing seat belts. Russell insisted it was racial profiling. Later, we competed in vaguely olympic-like events that required wearing backpacks and crossing a room that looked like a pool with no water.

Tag Team Wrestling

I dreamed I was about to compete in a big tag team wrestling match with my friend Mark from college. He was waiting for me on one side of the ring while I got my outfit together. I wore these really tight shiny bright royal blue warmup pants and a matching blue t-shirt. I also had on a ton of glittery yellow eye shadow and matching tights, also glittery yellow. I also wore a cape.

I approached the ring, slowly getting terrified because I have no idea how to wrestle. Even worse, I realized that Mark and I were up against Larry Sweeney, who would obviously beat us. Larry, being a gentleman as always, quickly tried to teach me some moves. I got distracted, however, when I realized the crowd of about 12,000 people was booing me. I looked down and realized that my pants had the Chicago Cubs logo all over them. The crowd was booing because they hated the Cubs! Dicks...

Getting Places

I dreamed that I was with Sarah L. in Chicago and we had to get across town to go see DeVotchKa. We looked up and saw the Eiffel Tower, which meant that we had a long way to go. Sarah started flying. "Can't you just fly me too?" I asked? She did. It was awesome. She did it effortlessly.

Later, I was tricked into going into a warehouse where a man was making a map of where the strippers should walk on stage. They each had their own territories, marked in different color markers. One of my friends tried to escape out this back door but the door slammed shut and I think it's possible that her hand got cut off...

Then there was a basketball game in the warehouse, but I was next to the bleachers, kind of underneath and could only hear - not see - what was going on in the game. There was a teenage girl talking to the point guard on the team. "Let's go to the top of the bleachers so we'll be able to see better," he said, and she followed. "They're not trying to see better," I whispered to nobody in particular. "They're on a date."

I finally got outside the warehouse and Emil picked me up in his blue car. We drove under the L tracks and somehow "by accident" we ended up just having parked the car in a garage. We told the guy working there that we needed it back so we could go see Moby. He was Italian, and friendly, and he got us to the car right away. As we drove, Emil pointed to the dashboard. "Good," he said, "look how many Saturday Night Live episodes downloaded while we were in there! We can watch them on the way home." He pointed his finger towards what I assumed it would be a number, but I looked, and it was the letter R. "Seventeen episodes!" I said. "Not bad!"