Ideal Band

I was watching a band play in the far end of the parking lot across the street from my house. They sort of seemed like a noise band which is weird because I'm definitely not into noise, and I was really into this band. They had posted a "rule" on a sign behind them: nobody is allowed to wear masks in the audience unless they were sick or were afraid of getting sick or they were going to an amusement park where they might get sick. I thought of those blue paper surgical masks.

This band was scheduled to play here from 7 pm - 8 pm, and then they were supposed to play at The Inferno from 8:30 - 9:30. I planned on going over there, but I must have taken too long because when I was finally leaving my house, it was already 9:30. I decided to go anyway to check out the second band.

Thank god I did. You know who it was? Effing Axl Rose and Slash, backed up by The Bitter Tears. Basically, this combination makes my favorite band ever. I watched them in a room with only about 20 other people, and got a great view right up front. During their last song, Slash and Axl stood in the center of the stage playing music while the four members (Alan, Mike, Tony, and a girl with glasses that I'd never seen before) did organized, choreographed dances in a square around them. The Bitter Tears rotated places every 4-8 bars of music and faced inward, towards Axl and Slash. They did a lot of grand movements with their hands, and they were able to play their instruments at the same time. Their eyes were all very focused on Axl and Slash.

At the end of their last song, Axl ran into the "back room" where apparently there was an audience of about 200, so I decided not to fight my way back there. Some guy announced the next band, which turned out to be the band of Toby from The Office. That was a sold out show, so I didn't even have a choice in whether or not I wanted to go. Good job, Toby.

New Office Episode - "Survey Day"

I dreamed an entire episode of The Office. It was called "Survey Day," and all the characters were in it, including me! For most of the episode, there were a ton of businessmen in the lobby for a big meeting, and they were all sitting around in suits and carrying briefcases. I remember Meredith and Kelly being all excited about "all the men." I saw Jim sandwiched between a bunch of other businessmen, and, of course, he was making faces at the camera.

At one point, I was in a giant elevator with Pam and I'd left my purse in the lobby, so we had to go up and don a lot to go get it. The elevator had two separate entrances right next to each other, but about ten feet apart. The elevator was like a room in itself, with plants and bookshelves everywhere.

Part of the whole big meeting involved everybody filling out surveys, hence "Survey Day." Each person had a personalized survey with their name on it and questions specific to their lives and jobs. I couldn't find mine, so I decided to fill in all the answers as three-word phrases, like "Haste Makes Waste," and also with Metallica album titles, like "Ride the Lightning."

In the dream, I kept having to double-check to make sure this episode hadn't happened before.

Boring Stuff

I was staying in a hotel with Sarah somewhere in the suburbs of Chicago, and we needed a ride to my parents' house, which is also in the suburbs of Chicago. Instead of asking one of my 50 zillion family members for a ride, we called Sarah's dad and asked him to come down from Michigan to drive us. While he was on his way, we hung out in the hotel room.

Sarah's dad arrived with her little sister Hannah, and some guy named Andre who kind of hung out and complained a lot. WHen our bill for the room came, I was mad because they'd charged us 76 cents for a bottle of "Peanut Butter Water" and 25 cents for "Vanilla Breath Spray." I kept reading the bill obsessively, trying to remember if we'd had those things and we hadn't, so I asked them to remove the charges. "I know it's just a dollar, but it's the principle of it all," I explained. Then Sarah appeared and announced that she may have used those things on her cruise last year, so that's why they were there. Whoops a daisy!

Later we drove on a specific highway in Madison (the one coming north from Mount Horeb into town) and all the roads were closed due to construction. I followed a maroon mini van, swerving in and out of piles of dirt.

Later, I watched American Idol on television, and the theme of the night was "On the Lanai."

Elephant Tapping

I was watching a documentary about the character Olive in the movie Little Miss Sunshine. In this dream, Olive had won some big title (probably Little Miss Sunshine) and was now very well-known, which is why there was a documentary made about her. It was in black and white when it showed her younger days.

Olive's talent was "Elephant Tapping." It is my understanding that Elephant Tapping means sitting in shallow water (1-2 feet deep) on a beach with a baby elephant in your lap, lightly splashing water on either side of it. So imagine you're sitting on the sandy ground with water up to your chest, your legs stretched out wide, and there's an elephant in front of you, and your arms are around it, splashing water. Elephant Tapping.

At some point, the documentary's narrator said something like "Olive has been in these waters since she was no bigger than a baby elephant." It showed her in the shallow water at about four years old splashing water by herself as a herd of about 12 elephants swam by her in perfectly straight lines. They all had their trunks in the air and they were smiling.

Tailgating Table and All + Some Others

I had another group of extremely disjointed dreams last night and this morning. I ate a Cheesy Gordita Crunch before bed. I wonder if that's what did it.

1. I was "tailgating" with my family following some kind of concert. I think it was after seeing a play or orchestra or something because it was in a big auditorium. My cousins and I all texted each other to meet up in one place. We exited the building to find my mother setting up a crazy spread on these silver folding tables with white paper tablecloths outside a warehouse. It was on a busy street and the air was dirty. She'd made a baked brie and a bunch of "sausage rolls," which were giant hot dog looking things wrapped in fried dough. I kept trying to take pictures of my cousins Luai, taken between two rolls of paper towels, but every time I aimed the camera right at him, it would take a picture right next to him. When he did appear in the picture, he had enormous buck teeth.

Also, a hearse kept getting in the frame, and I worried about seeming inconsiderate to the people involved in the funeral since I was taking a picture of the hearse. Then I realized the hearse was pulling us and the table on a trailer that was hitched behind it. We were moving, tailgating table and all.

2. I was Samantha from Sex and the City and somebody was proposing to me. I cried really really hard because I couldn't marry this person, but it was "the perfect ring." Apparently I really had that whole Samantha character captured pretty well. The ring was either a yellow or light green color and was some kind of stone that wasn't a diamond.

3. I could see the inside of my eyes really well and everything that was going on. There was a black, blurry looking thing flying around that I thought was maybe a bat. I tried really hard to open my eyes but I couldn't do it. Then I saw an eyelash and it was swirling around in rapid, tiny circles.

4. I received an email from a 5 year old child and at the end it said "eagerly awaiting your response."

No Stickers

I dreamt that I was watching That 70s Show and on the show they were playing Guitar Hero. Everything was fine and good until I realized how inauthentic the show was; Guitar Hero wasn't around in the 1970s! I then realized, however, that the show's creators had fixed one tiny detail. There were no stickers on the guitars, thus making it true to the times. That somehow made it more authentic. No stickers.