Embarrassing Feet

I dreamed I was in my parents' neighbors' kitchen with a family I teach. The 7 year old boy had grown to be as tall as me, which was confusing. I looked down at our feet to see if I was wearing shoes that made me shorter or he was wearing shoes that made him taller. It turned out that I was wearing brown knock-off Birkenstocks with black socks. The mom in the family lifted up my foot to take a closer look. "These are really nice," she said. "Yes, they're knock-off Birkenstocks. I love them," I replied, but I was lying through my teeth. I was mortified to be wearing them. Especially with black socks.

Tomatoes Spanish Boring

In my dream, I had just purchased a can of diced tomatoes. As soon as I got home, I realized there were already three cans in the garage. But it was the garage of my parents' house. I didn't really care.

Also, I could speak Spanish fluently!

Oh wait! I just remembered (I'm adding this a few hours later) that Gwen and I were driving around looking for the tanning salon we had to go to, and when we found out it was in the Princeton Club West, we were both like "gross" and didn't end up going.

Guns, Granola and Guest Stars

I have been dreaming so much lately and having a hard time keeping track. It's like every night there is a really long intense dream.

In this one I was at a supermarket and there was a raffle going on. There were three large carts full of healthy things you could win. In one of the carts was a bunch of yogurt and 'beneful' which is dog food in real life, but I think in the dream it was kinda like granola. I really wanted to win that cart of stuff, but I was upset that it was vegan yogurt. I walked around the grocery store trying to find someone to talk to to see if I could switch it out if I won. Somehow I got lost and ended up in the managers office. It had a big table in the center and a large white couch on the side of the room. On top of the table was one of those fake tubular fish tanks things, this this:
Except in the dream there were real fish in it. A man with chin length hair was standing by the table and knocked the fish tank over. It shattered and water was everywhere. Somehow I knew he was in the office trying to rig the raffle so he would win. I was terrified now, because I had seen him knock over the fish tank. He looked up and saw me and pointed a gun at me. I screamed and ran behind the couch. He came over to the couch and leaned over it so he could see me. I kept crawling back and forth behind the couch because I was trying to be a moving target. I was trying to get in a position so that if he shot me it would go through me and not kill me. It didn't work because he shot me in my neck. I was holding my neck as it bled when I woke up. After I woke up I realized it was Darrell Hammond from SNL who was trying to rig the raffle and who shot me. But in the dream he looked like that creepy hit man in Grosse Point Blank- the guy John Cusack kills with a pen- in the neck!!!! Weird.

Celebrities and More Underwears

In the first part of my dream, I was at a conference in a hotel with my parents and siblings. I don't know what the conference was about, but there were a lot of people dressed in ball gowns. Very glittery and sequin-y and tons of colors, mostly bright pinks and blues and greens. The material of the dresses was usually shiny. So basically, it sort of looked like an Arabic wedding. We argued about wear to park so that we wouldn't have to walk far in the rain.

We were in the lobby of the hotel, gathered around a table full of papers that we were supposed to fill out. The papers were messy and unorganized. I sat at the table with glasses on, trying to find the right form. Just then, somebody walked up to the table and placed a book, standing up, right in the middle. The book was Fatherhood. Which means that the man who put it there was...

BILL COSBY.

For real. He was bigger in person than he is on television. Not taller or fatter, but his proportions were bigger. He was a bigger kind of human than we all were. He smiled as he put the book down, and we somehow knew he was promoting it. Due to my quick wit (duh), I said "Oh, self-promotion, eh?" and Bill and the whole crowd burst into laughter. In all the craziness of laughing, the book fell over on its side, and I grabbed another opportunity at hilarity and yelled "Booooooo!" Bill Cosby laughed and laughed, and I remember thinking "Yes! I got two laughs out of Bill Cosby, and he's a comedian!" Really though, I think I'm much funnier than this in real life.

In the second part of my dream, I was talking to a professor of mine who ended up being Robert Downey Jr (who I've totally had a dream about before). As we were talking, I realized he was getting flirty and that there might be some Sexy Results. He asked me to come back later that night for a "meeting" (yeah right, Downey Jr) so I went to find my friend so we could go home and change. My friend had to keep score at a cheerleading competition, though, so we got held up and I kept looking impatiently at the time, not wanting to miss Sexy Results. The friend keeping score perched on the scoreboard above the gymnasium floor, manually hanging numbers on hooks when points were scored. At some point, she also hung a ten-year-old boy by his shirt from one of the hooks, as a prank. Everybody laughed.

I was sort of horrified until I realized there was a trampoline underneath him, and it was there as a safety precaution because this was all part of a movie we were making. I immediately panicked, wondering if Robert Downey Jr was only in the movie, or if I was going to see him again in real life. I couldn't tell.

Last thing: there was a pair of underwears in the back pocket of my jeans this entire time.

Underwears!

I dreamed that I was shopping with my sister and my mother. We were in my mother's bedroom, which was also a department store. Probably Carson's. My mother kept showing us dresses and they were all shiny and glittery. We had to help her pick out two, but each one kept changing colors and moving, so I couldn't pick one.

My sister sent her into the dressing room, and at the last minute, I realized she'd sent my mother in with a few pair of swimming trunks to try on as well. It made me feel weird. I looked at all the underwear and wanted to buy all of it. In this dream, I kept feeling a lot of love for underwear. All the underwears of all the world.