Friday, June 26, 2009

Talking Cats

I dreamed last night that my cat Eek could talk, but the trick was that you had to ask him exactly the right question. I couldn't remember what that question was though so I walked away from him. Then from behind me I heard him say "MA-ma."

I should add that my friend Alan told me yesterday that he taught his cat to talk and say "Alan". In real life not dreams!

Also I've recently given Eek a new nickname, Mr. Meow-gi. This is because he meows incessantly. I just thought you all should know that.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Evil District Attorneys and Witches

Evil men floated in my dreams last night. The men are two people I know and I actually sat between them at a hearing yesterday. They are two of the most notorious, bloodthirsty District Attorneys in Georgia. Though I work with one of them regularly, my nervousness of them goes so deep not to put their names on this blog for fear that it would get back to them and there would be personal repercussions. In the dreams that continued even though I'd wake up from time to time, their heads (no bodies) kept floating in my peripheral vision as I looked around in my dream. It was nerve wrecking.

Finally I had a different dream in which Alex and I were walking hand in hand in Decatur Square. We noticed an exhibit of Disney villains that you could see a preview of by throwing a quarter into a jar. We threw our quarter in and the statues we were all of a sudden surrounded by came to life. They were real people and moving in circles around each other and us. It was like we were trapped in the middle of a ballet stage. Then I realized that three of the performers were really evil witches and I pulled Alex's hand to try to get out of there. I was immediately face to face with an evil witch and she screeched and my heart jumped and then I woke up.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

School, Jamming, and a Girl

I was in school with Reem Tara, in a large auditorium-like space. The class had different parts. First was music. She and I "jammed" hilariously on drums, a bass, and something else. I played a jazzy riff on the bass and it was awesome. Ben Marx walked by and laughed at us. Then we got papers handed back to us. Reem Tara and I did ours together and we got...AN A+!!! We were so happy. The teacher, who is a co-worker of mine in real life, was very impressed. Then came the test - people took turns standing up and demonstrating different angles. So someone bent over far, and the teacher demonstrated that that was a 45 degree angle. Then someone else spun around and around and around (doing multiples of 360 degrees) and finally the teacher said, "Okay, that's enough!"

Later I was walking down the street and saw the girl of my dreams, who kind of looked like this. She went into her stupid boyfriend's apartment. I followed after her and saw she had put 3 posts up outside his door leading him from one, to another, to the 3rd one. The 3rd one had a present. They were strewn about, so I knew he already saw them, so I took them.

Then I was hanging out again with Reem Tara and Helen. Helen informed me that (this girl of my dreams) was coming over later because they were friends. I got super nervous but luckily I was wearing a cute outfit - a pink shirt and a pink skirt (different shades of pink). Then I realized I was still holding the signs I stole from her boyfriend's apartment building, so I threw them very hard into the garden that was all of a sudden there. Girl Of My Dreams came over and was shy and I did not know how to talk to her. I told them about how Reem and I "jammed" during school and laughed like it was the most interesting and hilarious thing ever. I don't think the Girl of My Dreams was impressed.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Military Mockery

This dream is fading fast...But I do know that I went to a small-town event that was in honor of Parkinson's disease patients. Prior to this event I was at a neighbor's house where children were. I noticed a sharp looking military outfit and the mom encouraged me to "try it on - it looks good!"

So I wore the military uniform to the Parkinson's diesease event. The woman in charge was SO excited to have me there - she said she would ask me to stand up and "represent the military." I did not have the guts to tell her that I was an imposter who was merely wearing an outfit.

I stayed at the event for a bit and then quickly left. In the dream, I thought it was kind of funny that people thought I was in the military. But afterwards a co-worker who was there YELLED at me. She said I was insensitive towards people who are really in the military and that I clearly "have a problem with men." So I SCREAMED at her, saying that I was at the Parkinson's event for 2 important male members of my family, so how is that having a problem with men?

Also as I was walking from the event I saw huge frogs on the grass. And another neighbor offered me money to help her clean up her dog poop. And I got a parking ticket but had no money to pay it.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

haven't been on in a while

people, i have dreams about having babies all the time. (note: speak to therapist about this.) so Sunday night i dreamt that i had a baby with a russian man. when the baby came out it was black and i looked at russian man like, "oops," but he didn't know what i was talking about, so cool. 

i gave the baby away for adoption because i didn't want a baby, but for some reason i had to see it all the time. i was like "no i don't wanna get attached...." and someone hands me it. 

the baby was so cute! cafe au lait colored and obama hair.

Boring Stuff

I was staying in a hotel with Sarah somewhere in the suburbs of Chicago, and we needed a ride to my parents' house, which is also in the suburbs of Chicago. Instead of asking one of my 50 zillion family members for a ride, we called Sarah's dad and asked him to come down from Michigan to drive us. While he was on his way, we hung out in the hotel room.

Sarah's dad arrived with her little sister Hannah, and some guy named Andre who kind of hung out and complained a lot. WHen our bill for the room came, I was mad because they'd charged us 76 cents for a bottle of "Peanut Butter Water" and 25 cents for "Vanilla Breath Spray." I kept reading the bill obsessively, trying to remember if we'd had those things and we hadn't, so I asked them to remove the charges. "I know it's just a dollar, but it's the principle of it all," I explained. Then Sarah appeared and announced that she may have used those things on her cruise last year, so that's why they were there. Whoops a daisy!

Later we drove on a specific highway in Madison (the one coming north from Mount Horeb into town) and all the roads were closed due to construction. I followed a maroon mini van, swerving in and out of piles of dirt.

Later, I watched American Idol on television, and the theme of the night was "On the Lanai."

Hypnotic Hair Dye

As part of a research study, I was hypnotized and then given a series of tasks to perform over 8 hours. The tasks were easy and mundane. The only one I remember was "find someone listening to ___" (specific song). So I was walking around doing some tasks. I felt stoned and things were slightly unclear. I passed a store front that advertised wedding treats. I went inside to pick up something for some friends who are getting married in the future. It turns out that it was a naughty bakery, and I was not sure if a cake-penis or cake-breast was really appropriate to bring. Then my twin sister and her partner showed up, and they both had hot pink streaks in their hair. The women working at the bakery brought me to the back where it was a huge salon. They said, "You would look SO good with pink hair too." I kind of laughed and said, "Yeah" in a way that apparently gave the impression that I wanted them to dye my hair. I left the naughty baker/salon, and continued trying to do my tasks. Then I realized they had put foil in my hair and that I was supposed to go back - they thought I wanted them to dye my hair! So I went back, and fumbled over my words. I said, "I'm not on drugs, but I'm hypnotized!" They charged me $90 and I said, "I'll pay, but I don't want my hair dyed, nor do I want a naughty cake!" and the guy looked at me like I was crazy. They clearly forgot that a wedding treat was the original reason for me going into the store in the first place. I returned to my original starting point. I have no idea how many "tasks" (if any) I actually completed.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Bible Study and WOW

I was a student. One of my assignments was to go to a school in the next town which was known for being a little "strange." First I spied on the school to see what I was getting into. Over the hill and looking down on a large building with people walking around. Looked normal.

I went into a classroom and sat down. The first half of the class was Bible study and the teacher scolded me for not knowing which passage to read. The second half of the class was playing World of Warcraft.

I left during this time to go to an administrative office. I found that one of the small rooms near the office had a "spooky feel" to it and that it was brain-washing everyone who worked there.

So I needed to get into battle. Buffy the Vampire Slayer showed up for a bit, but her attitude was, "Um, really? You need help fighting spooky religious school teachers?" and she was kind of a stuck up bitch.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Pay close attention to Obama's next speech.

I dreamt that I was at my parents house and President Obama was going to stop by so I could give him a haircut. Apparently before he was president he regularly got haircuts from me even though I am not a hair stylist.

So when he came over I was really nervous because he was the president now and if I gave him a bad haircut then both he and I would be shamed.

As I was giving him his hair cut he kept moving around and texting on his blackberry, calling people, and 'taking breaks' for 'official business'. Then he was called away to deal with something, and I couldn't finish the haircut. He left with a big tuft of hair sticking up.

Beer Pub, Bicycles, Beef Jerky, & Naked

This dream cracked me up: 

I was sent on a mission by someone, I don't know who, but I know I had to get specific things from a grocery store and it was VERY important.  In my dream it kind of felt like this was for my job, you know stuff you HAVE to do. 

This grocery store was far from my house, I'm pretty sure it was in another state.  I think I was in Iowa City.  But first I was instructed I had to stop at a brew pub that was on an extremely slanted hill.  The inside of the brew pub had all these beer steins and dark oak woodwork with really high ceilings.  Most of the patron were gray haired, but everybody there was sitting on bicycles. They were not sitting on bar stools, they were sitting on bicycles.  If they needed to get up and go to the bathroom or go to the end of the bar to get another drink, they didn't walk over, they rode their bicycle.  Also everyone there understood that I was there as part of a "mission",  although this mission wasn't really clear to even me.  But, part of this mission, apparently, was to give me a bike.  So, they gave me a bike and I rode it on out of the very steeply inclined beer pub out into the streets where they all cheered me on and waved goodbye.   I rode the bike for a few blocks until I was out of their sight and then I ditched the bike.  

After ditching the bike I got into a car and drove quickly to this grocery store in Iowa City.  As I pull up in the parking lot of this grocery store I notice that I'm naked.   I'm a little distressed by this as it is very important that I get certain items from this grocery store as part of my "mission".  So, I tell myself in my head that I just have to do it, that if I act confident and like it isn't a big deal then it probably won't be a big deal.  No one will really notice, right? (you know, like when you're really scared of public speaking, but you just act like you're not, that kind of thing). 

So, I go into the grocery store.  One hand over my crotch, one hand over my breasts (sort of).  And I'm quickly and desperately search the aisles for the items I need, which are: 
-Beef Jerky, the thin smoked type, not slim jims
-Whole live Lobsters.  3 of them.

I find the beef Jerky and I'm making my way to the back of the grocery store, where the tank of Live Lobsters are kept,  and I run into this woman who says to me: 
Where are your clothes? 

I know I have to make something up, so I very confidently and quickly respond in that annoyed mother sort of way: 
Oh, my daughter took them, you know kids. I'm looking for her, have you seen her?  She's somewhere in the store....boy, when I find her...

The lady seemed to understand and nodded knowingly.  

Then I woke up.