Bags in the Toilet

I am having the grossest dreams lately. Ugh. So last night I dreamed this:

"It's finally time to take care of this toilet," I thought to myself. What I needed to do: remove two plastic bags that had been lining the inside of the toilet. Apparently, one had been lining the entire toilet bowl under where the water goes. And the other was fixed so somehow everything that got deposited into the toilet went into this bag. These were plastic shopping bags, by the way. Like what one might get at the grocery store.

Removing the first bag was easy. I just sort of pulled it out. But that second one...ooh, it was in there good! I started pulling on one of the handles, hoping it would all just come out magically. Instead, all this pee splashed everywhere, got on me, and everything sucked. NOT sexy results, I tell you. No way.

After I got the bag out, the toilet started to overflow. Of course. Water and pee were everywhere. I remember feeling very defeated and half-hearted as I picked up the soggy bath mat and hung it to dry. Waa waa!

Toilet

Ugh, so annoying...

In my dream, I was flushing vegetarian chili down the toilet because I don't have a garbage disposal. There was a pile of it in my sink, and I tried to force it down the drain. Corn and kidney beans and, for some reason, cream cheese got all mixed up with each other and wouldn't go anywhere. I turned to the toilet, which was starting to overflow. I lifted the back of it and pulled the little chain that makes it drain, and as I did, a large Thanksgiving-looking squash/pumpkin thing came shooting out. It was a pale yellow with green stripes and dots. It was the size of an effing volleyball.

I tried it again, but it overflowed again and shot out in the air.

Then I woke up and had to go to the bathroom in real life, but I was nervous to use the toilet.

ADDENDUM: I just told my father this on the phone and he laughed really hard and said "This is the perfect dream, you know."