Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Star Wars

I wrote about this on my blog, but it's a pretty great dream so I'm posting it here too.

I think the dream I had last night describes my current state of mind pretty well.

I dreamed that I had a Darth Vader Pez dispenser. When I opened the head, instead of a pez it was my boyfriend Tom's head coming out. He had a completely expressionless face. I closed it and opened it again and it was Barack Obama's head, but he had a giant toothy smile on his face.

And that was it.

Nothing but Eyelashes and Frankincense and Myrrh Here

Reem and I were talking about the ebb and flow of this dream blog, how sometimes everyone is dreaming and writing and sleeptime is so active, and then there are dead zones, the blog is blank, like no one is dreaming. I wonder if it has anything to do with cycles of the moon... I know that with my writing I will be super prolific for a few weeks and then can barely construct an email for a couple and I think that is about moon time. Anyway, I think its interesting that after the time of silence, two of us have dreams to post today.

I dreamed that I lived in the Beetlejuice house. Well, it was the Beetlejuice house from the outside anyway. Inside it was more like a loft, clean and airy and there was a metal spiral staircase from the kitchen to my bedroom. In the kitchen there were many shelves filled with colored glass bottles. When I looked to see what was in the bottles, I thought to myself "nothing but eyelashes and frankincense and myrrh here." And then I had to yell at my friends who were sleeping over becuase they were going to wake up my parents.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My biggest Fear is Sharks

Scuba Diving among sharks and realizing they are getting feisty; I won't make it to the boat, so I go to the bottom of the ocean because if I am 'grounded' the sharks can't touch me. But they keep circling and I am going to run out of air if I stay here and there's no way I'll make it to the boat before they will get to me and the panic wakes me up.

Almost immediately I fall back asleep and am in the car having decided to go to the airport to use the shower. I go to park in front [which would likely get me arrested in real life] and almost pass by an empty space so I try a tight turn but hit the car next to me into the car next to it. Damage seems minimal so I start to leave but a guy I went to middle school with comes hurrying up to me and I try to ignore him because I figure its about the cars, but he asks, incredulously, "why do you have to make everything about your divorce?"
"I don't, in fact I'm only just beginning to use the words 'K----' and 'ex-wife' in conversation and mostly only with close friends." I am relieved this is not about the cars I hit.
"But I've been watching you [I haven't seen him in 17 years] and your conversations always turn towards it."
"Well," I begin, "let me tell you why the last 8 years of my life were devoted to her in a variety of ways..." then I tell the whole story [which I will not repeat here] which feels like I talk in my dream for half an hour, with other random people arriving and taking interest in my story. I find it interesting, but am releived, that he does not point out the fact I made this conversation about my divorce.
[I wake up depressed and its snowing outside. I lay in bed wondering what part of me is stuck in middle school and is incredulous about my divorce...I hope to get back there and talk more with 'him']

Friday, October 24, 2008

Getting Places

I dreamed that I was with Sarah L. in Chicago and we had to get across town to go see DeVotchKa. We looked up and saw the Eiffel Tower, which meant that we had a long way to go. Sarah started flying. "Can't you just fly me too?" I asked? She did. It was awesome. She did it effortlessly.

Later, I was tricked into going into a warehouse where a man was making a map of where the strippers should walk on stage. They each had their own territories, marked in different color markers. One of my friends tried to escape out this back door but the door slammed shut and I think it's possible that her hand got cut off...

Then there was a basketball game in the warehouse, but I was next to the bleachers, kind of underneath and could only hear - not see - what was going on in the game. There was a teenage girl talking to the point guard on the team. "Let's go to the top of the bleachers so we'll be able to see better," he said, and she followed. "They're not trying to see better," I whispered to nobody in particular. "They're on a date."

I finally got outside the warehouse and Emil picked me up in his blue car. We drove under the L tracks and somehow "by accident" we ended up just having parked the car in a garage. We told the guy working there that we needed it back so we could go see Moby. He was Italian, and friendly, and he got us to the car right away. As we drove, Emil pointed to the dashboard. "Good," he said, "look how many Saturday Night Live episodes downloaded while we were in there! We can watch them on the way home." He pointed his finger towards what I assumed it would be a number, but I looked, and it was the letter R. "Seventeen episodes!" I said. "Not bad!"

Sunday, October 19, 2008


I dreamed I shaved my head. I was really confident about it at first, but then when I ran my fingers through it, I started to freak out a bit. I looked in a mirror and saw that I still had some hair left - it was like a long curly mohawk.

At a different point, I was living in a big fancy house and had a "new roommate." He was handsome, and we went on lots of dates. For one, we were in the audience of So You Think You Can Dance, as Tara was a few weeks back. He said to me "I'm starving - I think I'm about to pass out." I told him I didn't have any food, but then I realized I was holding two square slices of pizza in a paper towel. I gave them to him.

Also I'd been at the drink in real life.

Friday, October 17, 2008


I had an awful dream last night that I was throwing a huge party at a club (which I am in a couple weeks) and I was walking out midway through it to go to the McDonald's across the street (which I totally wouldn't do). As I'm walking out, I see police walking in.

Fuck. I know there is pot everywhere. So I run back inside and tell my cousin Laith to start taking care of the mess before the police get inside. I meet the police at the door and turn on my dealing-with-police charm. They are friendly to me and say that they don't want make trouble, but they smell pot so that gives them the right to come inside.

I let them in, I have no other choice. Miraculously, the party which is now in my house and not the club, is immaculate. The house is as clean as it actually is right now immediately following a visit from my parents. The cops walk through and see nothing, but walk past my room as if they think its a closet. I'm leading them out, relieved that its over then one of them says to me- "things look alright, we just need to look in your bedroom and we'll be on our way."

Sure enough my room has piles of pot and paraphernalia everywhere. Fucking hell. I know I'm getting arrested. Every now and then as the cop looks away I hide some of the pot under a pillow, in my waistband, under a shoe. That is until the cop says "I see you hiding that."

I start begging him not to arrest me, to let this go, that I have important work to do that would be impeded by a conviction. I say something like "I won't be able to visit my clients in prison!" or something similarly ridiculous.

I woke up with a migraine that had a heartbeat of its own and nausea to boot.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Puppy Dreams

So our little dog Pepper sleeps in bed with Tom and I, and I think she has been controlling our dreams this week.

The other night Tom dreamed that we decided to get a second dog (something we talk about during the day a lot, Pepper needs a little brother.) So in the dream we found a cute little dog and decided to adopt him. But for some reason we thought that since we were getting this new dog we had to get rid of Pepper. So Tom was on the phone trying to find someone to adopt her. He finally found a woman who came and picked her up. But later in the day we realized what we had done and started freaking out! (Pepper is pretty much like our daughter) In the dream Tom was on the phone at all these different locations- at one point we were at Austin City Limits while he was on the phone trying to get Pepper back! We were in our living room on the phone with this woman telling her we made a mistake!! He says he doesn't know how it ended, but he woke up spooning Pepper!

I had a dream last night that we were visiting my parents in Wisconsin. We had driven up from Texas with Pepper. When we got to my parents house my dad told me that they had become a foster home for dogs. There were dozens of dogs there in addition to the two my parents already own. They were running around in the house and backyard, though in the dream the house that was my parents didn't look like my parents real house. We went out back to see all the dogs and found this little rat terrier mix puppy. He had a white face, white feet and belly, but his back had brown and black spots. We started playing with it and holding it and thinking that maybe we wanted to keep him! We ran around the house and outside and he just seemed perfect! He had a ton of personality just like Pepper. But we wanted to make sure that Pepper liked him so we had them meet. We walked into the living room where Pepper was sitting on the couch, like a person- on her butt. We put the little rat terrier puppy in her arms and she held him like a person holds a baby! She cradled him for a while and we knew that they could get along! We were afraid that the new dog might have more personality than Pepper, but then Pepper started stealing peoples socks and running around the house with them so we knew it would be ok.

So we went home for the night (I guess Texas and Wisconsin are quite close in dreams) and when we got up in the morning I saw that one of my goldfish was dead, I yelled at Tom "Why did you kill my goldfish and leave it in the tank? That's bad for the other fish!" He came in and looked at it and apologized, no explanation as to why he killed it. Then we drove to my parents house to play with the dog again. But when we got there all the dogs were gone! I started freaking out and got super upset! My dad said that all of the dogs had found a home! Tom and I were really sad and looked out the window into the backyard. We were talking about how perfect that dog would have been and how we were so sad that he was gone. We were looking out the window at a little tiny orange kitten, the size of a hamster, that was playing in a little area in the yard. I said, "Awwww that must be the area where Spot peed last!"

And when I woke up, I was spooning Pepper!!!

Dream Journal

It might seem odd that I have decided to start a paper-bound dream journal what with the One Second Time Machine at my fingertips, but even the act of getting out of bed can erase a good chunk of dreams. So here is my new dream curiosity journal. I found it as I was unpacking - a gift from mother and now its found its proper use.
Remember dreams are like bunnies, but you will wonder whether it is a a cuddly one or a not-so-cuddly one until you catch it.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Another Dream From the Nine-Year-Old

My student told me another one of her dreams today...

My little sister and I were pulling a train, but then the train fell into a lake. Then there was this girl sitting on the railroad tracks. She was wearing a purple jersey and a purple skirt.

She said "Look at me - a hobo."

No, I'm serious. She rules.

Sunday, October 12, 2008


I dreamed that I was standing outside Mickey's (a bar) with Genia. I heard the sound of a horse walking behind me - like the clip clop sound. I turned around to see a horse and carriage with two horses. The driver guy was patting one of them on the head, but then the other one got loose and started running towards us. The driver was yelling something at us, and I yelled back "do you want me to stop it?" Right as the horse got to us, I held out my hand and grabbed the reins and caught the horse. I pulled the horse closer to me and put my arms around it's neck. It folded into my arms and as it grew smaller, I cuddled it as if it was a kitten.

Thursday, October 9, 2008


I had a dream that somebody barfed on me! Also last night.

I was in a bar and I was meeting two friends - one woman and one man. I was standing next to the man and he took a drink, but couldn't keep it down and his face got all gross looking and I knew he was going to barf, so I turned my back to him and then felt him barf all over me. It splashed everywhere and messed up my clothes.

The worst part is that then I had to go sleep in a bed with the boy I like, and for some reason, I couldn't take off my clothes. All barfy in bed! Terrible...


Ugh, so annoying...

In my dream, I was flushing vegetarian chili down the toilet because I don't have a garbage disposal. There was a pile of it in my sink, and I tried to force it down the drain. Corn and kidney beans and, for some reason, cream cheese got all mixed up with each other and wouldn't go anywhere. I turned to the toilet, which was starting to overflow. I lifted the back of it and pulled the little chain that makes it drain, and as I did, a large Thanksgiving-looking squash/pumpkin thing came shooting out. It was a pale yellow with green stripes and dots. It was the size of an effing volleyball.

I tried it again, but it overflowed again and shot out in the air.

Then I woke up and had to go to the bathroom in real life, but I was nervous to use the toilet.

ADDENDUM: I just told my father this on the phone and he laughed really hard and said "This is the perfect dream, you know."

Bunnies and Bees

I had two dreams last night, but I think they were connected because both dreams take place in the same fictional big back yard. . .

I dreamed that I was outside in a big field, that I think was supposed to be my back yard. I saw a tiny grey bunny hopping across the field and called to it. It came running over to me and hopped right into my arms. I was so surprised and startled that I was able to catch it. I held the bunny for a while and decided I wanted to keep it, but I wasn't sure if I should. I took the bunny inside and let it run around my house while I tried to figure out if it was ok to keep it. I asked Tom if the bunnies you get at the pet store were just wild bunnies? He didn't know. I called my friend Nick, but he didn't answer. I left a message asking him if the bunnies in the pet stores were wild bunnies. I didn't see the bunny in the house so I called to it, it came hopping over to me and into my arms. It had grown since I brought him inside and he was now a little bigger and white with brown and black spots. I was starting to get nervous, that if I kept him too long that I wouldn't be able to let him back into the wild. I really wanted to keep him. My dog Pepper didn't even mind the bunny and would go over to it and sniff it, but left it alone. I went online and tried to look up information about bunnies, I wrote in a forum asking people "Are the bunnies in pet stores wild bunnies?" All of the responses were not directly answering my question and just said things about how to care for it. I called to the bunny again and it hopped into my arms. It was still getting bigger, still white, but a little bigger now. I walked outside with it in my arms and into my big back yard. I stood at the edge of the field contemplating if I should let him go . . .

I had a dream that I had a huge back yard. Parts of it were fields and beyond the huge yard there was a forest. Just before the forest of trees there was a huge telephone pole. It was really fat and went up into the sky, past where you could see the top because of the clouds. While we were outside in the yard Tom and I noticed that some bees were making a hive way up high on the telephone poll. We didn't think much of it. When we came back the next day there were more hives. Small little mini hives, 5 in a row. We were a little concerned because there were a lot of bees buzzing around them. Then the next day we returned to the pole and there were dozens of hives! Some of them little small round ones, but some of them were really elaborate hives that looked like mini bird houses. They were all lined up in rows on the pole. Tom and I looked at each other concerned. We didn't want thousands of bees flying around the back yard. So we decided we had to call someone. But we didn't want someone to come would would just destroy the hives without getting the honey! We called around and finally found a woman who said she would get the honey out! She said she had a special spray. She shimmied up the pole and sprayed into the little hives and houses. At first I was sad that all the bees had to die, but I knew we couldn't have them in the back yard! She began extracting the honey from each of the houses with a spoon and collecting it in jars. We watched her work from down below. . .

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Good to See You

Last night it poured in Atlanta. In my dream I woke up and looked out my window and saw my car had been picked up by the stormy wind and dropped in the tiny area between my bedroom window and the fence outside it. The windows, even the windshield were shattered. I went outside to examine the damage. I held my face in my hands and cried, this problem seemed insurmountable.

I walked down the street away from my house because I couldn't take it. I walked and walked, away from Grant Park, away from Atlanta and the rain, through neighborhoods of grand houses lit up by the sun. One house caught my attention and I thought to myself, this is the house that will take me to Mohammad. He can fix this mess. I walked up the steps and pushed gently in the door, expecting it to be locked. To my surprise it swung open, moved by Mohammad himself. He beamed when he saw me. He held a plate of food in his hand and I could see there was a party behind him- it was Eid al-Fitr.

His smile was so big and his hands so familiar as he led me inside. The house was open air and luscious plants hung above us, it looked more Italian than Arab. We sat on a bench, as close to each other as physically possible, our backs leaning on a picnic table behind us and his arm around my shoulder. "Good to see you," he whispered in my ear. I tried unsuccessfully to keep my tears from spilling and said "I can't believe teleporation really works." He nodded and kissed my cheek, knowing that this has been my number one wish in the world since I was a child and my grandmother lived across an ocean.

He walked off to get me some food and I looked around, taking in my surroundings for the first time. I saw that I was sitting with the men, and that the women were all sitting together at the other end of the piazza. I felt self-conscious in my gauzy tank top. I glanced over my shoulder to see who was at the picnic table I sat at and looked straight into the eyes of Mohammad's father, a lovely man I only know from pictures and his son's stories. He left this world on April 13 this year. His eyes were tender and watery like my grandfather's, and he smiled warmly as he looked me over. I shyly smiled back.

Mohammad returned to me with a plate of maklube. We ate it together and kissed; every bite and kiss was salty from my tears. I woke up to the sound of pouring rain...

washed away, a dream of you
but nothing else could ever take you away
cuz you'll always be my dream come true

I guess sometimes this is a blog of hopes and dreams.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Rainbow Coral

I dreamed that I was swimming through black water inside a house. I had special goggles (perhaps Mindfold inspired!) and when I put them on underwater I could see beautiful rainbow coral. As the water moved the plant-like creatures waved gently and changed colors like Buckingham Fountain. There were also jellyfish that looked like raindrops and squid that looked like calamari (yes, fried) in the black water. The instructor said to be careful becuase the squid would burn us if we touched it. Unable to avoid one as it floated by, it brushed my skin and I was happy that it didn't hurt at all.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Dreams From My Parents

Mom: I dreamed last night that I cut off your father's ear! I didn't mean to...there was something wrong with it, so I was just going to cut a tiny bit off, but I cut off the whole top half! The worst part was that then I had to do the other one so they would be even.

Dad: Oh, the Christian right were trying to convert me again.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Blue Feather and Butterflies

Also short and sweet: I dreamed that I woke up and realized that the beautiful blue feather that Jill recently sent me - that I hung on my bed above where I sleep - had been eaten away. It was skeletal but for a few wisps and the silver spiral remained.

I showed it to my mother who said "Looks like the butterflies ate it. Those butterflies eat everything."

Friday, October 3, 2008


Short and sweet...

So I moved into my room in Ashevegas and last night it was pretty durn cold.  This I was not prepared for and had a slight shiver through the night.  Consequently I dreamt that I was in a room full of quilts my mother had made and was looking through them to pick one out.  They were all marvelous and with bright, warm colors.  I found one she had sewn an electric blanket into and I said "yes, my mom is this awesome."  I then woke up cold and without her magnificent quilt.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


So my neighbor asked "Whatcha cooking?" yesterday. He meant was i knocked up. I yelled "I'm not pregnant I'm GETTING FAT!" Of course, this really made me realize just how much I have gained lately on my sugar diet and then I had nightmares about it. I was pregnant and embarrassed and miserable but also having fun shopping for it and then I realized it was a horrible idea and then it was too late to do anything about it. UGH. I may go throw up lunch now. I'm working on a new eating disorder.

I wrote a song

Man, I had an awesome dream last night and I barely remember any of it. I think I was watching So You Think You Can Dance or something. There was a huge stage, all black, with some risers in the back. Some mid tempo music started playing, oh I wish I could describe it- kind of electronicy. Anyway, a spotlight came up on a girl dressed in bright yellows, aquas and greens and started singing. Then she did a little dance move and froze. Another spotlight came up and a guy was standing there and started singing. This continued for a while until the song started to rock out and they all started dancing and singing. The most awesome thing about this dream is that the song they were singing was not a real song, it was like I was writing a song in my sleep. I woke up like right after the dream and knew I would forget all the words to this awesome song, but I remembered one line. The line right before the song started to rock out, the last girl in the spotlight sang "You can keep time by the beating of my heart!"

Terrapin, and the whistle is screaming

I am walking down miles of sand where I reach the tallest dunes in view.  I climb them and it gives me a view of a vast beach where there are giant sea turtles, six feet tall and ten long, their craggy shells covered with 6 to a dozen children who are hollering with joy at the ride.  But as I near I see the fear in the kids faces and realize they are screaming.  Somehow being held captive on the backs of these turtles and being hauled into the ocean.
But one of the turtles shells has suddenly been wiped clean of children and I see my uncle [an avid sportsman who makes his own arrows for bowhunting] leaping on the back of a turtle halfway into the surf.  He then takes a hand-carved arrow-head, larger than his head, and twice stabs it into the back of the turtle's neck.   The children are safe. 

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


I am riding up a ski lift over an unsowy mountian.  Not knowing wny I am here, or even thinking to think such a thought I ride to the top where something in the view reminds me I am looking for an old school-teacher of mine.  I go inside the cabin and decide that I need dreadlocks (my real-life hair is not down past my cheeks yet).  Within seconds I have rolled the short, thin, straight hair into tight dreadlocks down to my ass.  I can't believe the sensation as I wave my head around.  I can feel the weight - like I have a whole new set of appendages.  
Now I feel prepared, but as I walk towards the exit of the cabin I am suddenly in a motel room with an unknown younger lady lying on the floor between the beds on a pile of pillows, she is wearing a Mindfold and her face turns towards me as she tells me how beautiful my dreads are becoming.  This confuses me because they already are.  So I turn to look into the large vanity mirror facing every motel room bed.  Lo and behold I have at least 5 of those glass 7-day candles woven into some dreads, and birds are hanging a nest on another, along with the assortment of beads and other colorful devices.  
This menagerie is more than my belief can suspend and I awake.