Drag Queen at the Beach

It's been a long time since any of us have posted over here, but I've been having a lot of funny/crazy/sweet dreams lately so I thought I'd try posting again and see if any of y'all feel like joining me in resurrecting this baby.

I dreamed last night that I woke up today and left for the beach vacation I'm going on in May. When I got there, I ran through the white sand and it felt like Egypt. Then I started exploring the house we were staying in which was lovely but sorta 70s-ish.

I got to one room that was full of someone's stuff, including a bunch of crazy platform shoes and a whole lot of leopard print. I realized all of a sudden I was in the wrong house, and the house I was in belonged to the Most Famous Drag Queen of Key West. When I finally met her, she did a fashion show for me of all the platform shoes, and the most fabulous ones were total Lady Gaga - lime green patent spikes that poked into Mello Yello cans that she had to balance on top of.

'Sup, says Obama

I dreamed that I was chosen to interview President Obama at Beloit College, where I went to school. I don't know why I was picked, but it was mostly because I was an alumni and I had some connection with a professor. Unfortunately, I didn't prepare any questions, so I was scrambling to come up with something within the 20 minutes before the interview was to take place. I also couldn't find any blank sheets of paper - the notebook I had was full of paper, but every page had writing on it. I also had a lot os loose papers stuck in the notebook, but they were all written on as well. I did have two pens and a pencil, though.

I showed up on campus - drove my jeep up a windy road on a hill as it rained and I looked for an umbrella. Campus looked different from how I remember it, more like the campus of the school where my sister went to college. I was surprised that I didn't have to go through any type of security.

I stood in the lobby of Eaton Chapel, where the interview was to take place, and where I took all my music classes as an undergraduate. While we waited for Obama to show up, I gave a tour to an older woman. I can't remember who she was, but she could either be one of my old professors, or a member of Obama's family. I showed her around the building, and was trying to show her the dark staircase in the back of the building that comes up backstage (I had this idea of us coming out from backstage and her being met with a beautiful view of the chapel from the stage) but it was pitch black and there were heavy cords all over the ground, and I was convinced she was going to trip.

Then I was back in the lobby and Obama showed up, walking casually through the door by himself. "'Sup," he said to me, and moved on. I didn't tell him I was going to interview him.

We moved up on to the stage and sat at a small table where we'd do the interview. I still searched frantically for paper. One of my old professors, Ian, sat to my side, just like how a page turner sits next to a pianist. I think maybe he was going to turn pages for me...

I brainstormed some questions to ask him, all the while realizing that I had no idea why kinds of questions to ask. I thought I'd ask him about music, about Iraq, and about his daughters. Sarah whispered in my ear at some point, "Ask him about eating chicken and being a Veggie." Before I got to answer any questions, the people in charge started moving us to our next location. They'd just been taking pictures all along. I hoped I looked good.

Flavor Flav and the Magical Barn

I dreamed that I lived in a beautiful old farmhouse that had so much potential if I only had the time to work on it. It had this rundown but charming barn behind it that was my favorite part.

I had to leave my farmhouse to run a benefit for Georgians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty. We fed people southern barbecue there. In the middle of my speech Flavor Flav started heckling me and being a total jerk. He offended everyone and people started leaving. I started crying at the podium and then ran backstage.

When I saw Flav in the hallway I yelled at him "you cost us $10,000!! you have to give me a $10,000 donation to make up for this!" Then I made myself a to-go plate of barbecue and went home.

When I got home I saw that my friends had all been working on the barn - they turned it into a magical wonderland place with chinese lanterns, lots of blue ceramic tile and antiques on shelves. Ela had built a sweat lodge inside the barn and Mica had assembled a tea party with old cast iron tea kettles.

Not Enough Microphones

I was watching a star-studded celebrity cast singing a song. It seemed sort of like We Are the World. All the celebrities were standing behind a plastic window, singing into microphones, wearing headphones. I noticed Danny Wood from the New Kids on the Block singing with them. After a minute, he walked away from the group and approached four men sitting on black plastic chairs. They seemed like an audience, watching the rest of the singers. As it turns out, this group of four men was...the other New Kids! All of them: Donnie, Jordan, Joe, and Jonathan. Danny handed the mic to Jonathan, and he took Danny's place in the celebrity group. It turns out, the producers of this event didn't have enough microphones because they couldn't afford them, so the New Kids were all taking turns. Very sad...

Podcast of One Second Time Machine on WKRS!

Alright, alright, it's not ALL about the One Second Time Machine, but it's still cool. There's a link up on the WKRS website. Just go to www.1220wkrs.com and click on PODCASTS on the left and choose That New WKRS Show with Patrick Read Johnson, Amy Barnett, and Mike Pawlak. Our "mention" is under the interview with Dr. Arthur Bernard. FAMOUS!!!

http://www.1220wkrs.com/

We're Famous! In Waukegan, At Least...

Just kidding, we're totally not. But I did want to share that today, our very own Luai hosted a radio show in Illinois on WKRS 1220 AM. His guest was Dr. Arthur Bernard, an expert on dream work. Lucky me, I got to call in and ask him about some of the dreams I've had and posted on here. Luai and I also got to promote the One Second Time Machine a bit - yay!

It was tough to pick just on dream to talk about, so I asked Dr. Bernard about all the petrified animal dreams I've had. I had five of them all between September 2008 - January 2009, and they have all involved observing animals "freeze," in some way. Check this dream, which links to the four others. He explained that dreams are often symbolic of other things, like that these animals really represented my feelings, not necessarily actual animals. He said that the petrifying aspect could be me trying to let out my feelings and getting scared at the last moment, thus, the dreams/animals freezing and, although not quite dying, not being completely carried out. Interesting, eh?

Luai was a fantastic radio host and asked why eating right before we sleep makes our dreams so crazy. To be honest, I can't remember the answer to this. But Dr. Bernard was pretty informative. I'd be interested in checking out his book and looking through some of the dreams you crazy people have posted on here in the last year or so. Ya know, find out about all your feelings....

We're hoping that a recoding of the interview will be included on one of Dr. Bernard's future podcasts, so if that happens, we'll let you know. In the meantime, check out Dr. Bernard's website!

Rats, Braless, Barack

Lori's dream about rats reminded me that I had a similar dream where there were rats everywhere - but they were more like cute animated rats, likely because I watched Ratatouille the night before.

For some reason I'm only remembering snippets of dreams this week:

- at some point of a much more involved dream, I realized that all of a sudden my bra was gone. My shirt was still on, but the girls were free and I remember folding my arms over my chest and scampering away. Yes, scampering.

- I was at a counter where this saleswoman was trying to get me to sign up for a new credit card. She was listing all the perks that come with it, tickets to shows, hotel discounts but also you get to train with Michael Jordan and live with Barack Obama.

The Angel Singers Visit Me

I will preface this by saying that this might be one of the greatest dreams I have ever had.

I was at a bar with my parents, siblings and cousins that is near my cousin Layla's house. I've never actually been there but have always wanted to because I'm told that the menu is made up of burgers named after hair metal bands. In my dream though, none of the burgers looked any good- like the Mötley Crüe burger had cubes of ham on it. Gross.

I look up and see a small group of people in front of me; Neil Young is standing among them. I gasp and slowly move towards him. As I approach him I beckon to him to come in close so I can tell him a secret. I whisper in his ear

"You are one of my angels."

He looks into my eyes and says back, "because of my voice?" I nod. He then grabs me and and spins me around him in a giant embrace. He is beaming. I ask him

"Do you want to know who else are my angels?" He nods. I start listing

"Asdru from Ozomatli, Jerry Garcia, Perry Farrell, the Porcupine Singers... most importantly, Tom Waits..." Neil interrupts me and whispers close in my ear and says "Well, you're in luck then, darlin'."

I look up and on the little built-in stage Tom Waits himself is getting ready to play. My hands fly to my cheeks; I can't believe it. He plays two songs for us. He starts with "Cemetery Polka" and I just stand there staring at this madman 5 feet from me. I think he played a trumpet at one point which I don't think he really does in real life. My family is looking over at me smiling, so happy to see me so thrilled. My dad takes a picture of me.

Then Tom starts on "Who Are You", one of my very favorites of his vast repertoire. This song includes lines like "I fell in love with your sailor's mouth and your wounded eyes", lines that I have often thought if any man ever says to me I will marry him then and there and live happily ever after.

Tom was singing directly to me and he sings the line "I did my time in the jail of your arms" and its like a skipping record, he repeats that line 3, 4, 5 times just staring intensely into my eyes. I can feel Neil behind me with his hands gently on my shoulders. And I smile through the tears that are spilling down my face, because now I know why we were whispering- this is our secret.

After he finishes the song, Tom mumbles something incoherent into the mic but I swear I can make out that he says something like "you heard the important part," and I know he was talking to me. And he ambles offstage and Neil follows him.

I bite my lip and start walking towards my smiling family.

Nikki Sixx

I am both thrilled and embarrassed to share this dream.

I dreamed that I was competing in the Olympics (as if that weren't enough!) and the team that was opposing me was Mötley Crüe. And I just happened to be wearing a pink tshirt with Mötley bassist Nikki Sixx's face on it. The boys were competing for "charity" in the Olympics.

I finally worked up the courage to talk to them. I found my old issue of some British music magazine that had Darth Vader on the cover. The magazine had a story in it about how various members of metal bands acted in a recreation of Star Wars; Nikki played Vader.

When I got close to the boys and asked for their autographs they ignore me at first, but then Nikki stops. "What is that?" he asks about my magazine. When I show him he is awed and keeps saying "Wow". "I haven't seen one of these in years." I think he says something like "This was a really important time in my life."

He gets all the guys in the band back to sign it. When I get the magazine back it appears more like a hardcover book and it is filled with messages. The message from Nikki is long and rambly but says my name repeatedly and includes the phrase "keep hope alive."

He then goes and gets me from the van the exact same pink Nikki Sixx tshirt I am already wearing. I think to myself, I thought you were the smartest in the band.

Mugged by Justin Timberlake

This comes from my 9 year old student, Riley:

I dreamt that I was talking to this really really short person who was in the play with me. She complimented me, and then her arms grew really long.

Then I was playing with 4 of my friends, and Sam (her neighbor) got eaten by the school bus.

Then I was with my mom at a family reunion barbecue and she was like "well good, because I don't want to get mugged by Justin Timberlake!"

omg.

The Company You Keep

I dreamt that local radio talk show hosts Connie and Fish were interviewing me on their show, most likely because I was a famous pop star. I answered all of their questions calmly and professionally. Finally they asked me if I had anything else to add, to which I replied "Yes I do." I then proceeded to yell at Fish because he is sexist and homophobic, and I told him "You should watch the company you keep." That sentence was meant to express the fact that a lot of impressionable young kids listen to his show, and that he should be a better role model. It summed it all up.