Lost My Car in a Dark Garage

I was at Anna's sister's wedding. Anna was the maid of honor, and as I watched her walk up the aisle before her sister, I grabbed my camera to take pictures. It was running out of batteries, so I kept turning it on and trying again, and I got a few mediocre shots out of it.

As I was taking the pictures, I remembered that I was supposed to play a song for the wedding and I didn't have my music with me. Since my music was at my parents' house and the wedding was just a few blocks away, I thought it would be fine for me to leave and run back to their house to get it. I assumed I'd get back to the wedding with no problem.

Then all of a sudden, I was in a giant high-rise parking garage. It was dirty and dingy and dark and scary with a million stairwells, several on each floor, so I couldn't keep track of where I was going. I held my keys tightly in my hand and kept pressing the lock button, which makes my car's horn honk. I could hear it very faintly in the distance. It was very high-pitched. As I climbed the stairs, the sound got harder and harder to hear, so I figured I should go back down. Whenever I got inside a stairwell where I'd be going down the stairs, I was able to jump down the whole thing with my fingers just lightly grazing the handrails. It was sort of like flying, but more so jump-falling in an organized fashion. Make sense?

I searched and searched everywhere, but I could not find my car. I did come across a man wearing a busted up tuxedo. He looked like some kind of cartoonish magician or the villain from an old movie. Crooked mustache, wilted flower in his boutonniere. He was digging through piles of junk, boxes of random things. He implied that he could help me find my car. I searched through the piles with him for a few minutes, turning up some of my own belongings. Then he led me to the base of a stairwell where three other people sat; two grown men and one little girl. "Stay here for 15 minutes," he told me. "Whatever you're looking for will show up."

I sat on the dirty floor and realized the two men and little girl were about to watch a movie. I thought it was probably be too scary for her. I also realized that the tuxedo guy was the owner of the fancy hotel that the parking garage was suddenly attached to, and I wondered how he had time to search through garbage when he had a fancy hotel to run.

Eventually I ended up in the lobby of the hotel, all dirty and standing out in the light of the giant chandeliers. I had not found my car or my music, and I was sure the wedding was long over, but Anna was there and still very nice to me. Hey, thanks for being a good friend, Anna!

i was filling in for a day as nanny for kimora lee simmons' kids. but she didn't just have those two little girls. she had a house full of kids - a bunch of older boys all over the place. the house was huge but it wasn't decorated very well. the boys rooms were outdated and messy. kimora's husband was a pro basketball player and that's why they lived in madison (?). i talked with the girls for awhile telling them that i've seen them on tv and they were so sweet. kimora wasn't all bitchy and fabulous like she is on tv. she was pretty much a soccer mom.

later, my hub and i were living in the house i grew up in (the brick one) and we had a landlord. she came by and was in the yard for awhile and i watched her the whole time through the windows. i wondered if she had seen me but she didn't seem to for a long time. then, she looked me straight in the eye and flicked me off.

then my dogs ran away, just down the street and i yelled at them and they came back.

Elephant Tapping

I was watching a documentary about the character Olive in the movie Little Miss Sunshine. In this dream, Olive had won some big title (probably Little Miss Sunshine) and was now very well-known, which is why there was a documentary made about her. It was in black and white when it showed her younger days.

Olive's talent was "Elephant Tapping." It is my understanding that Elephant Tapping means sitting in shallow water (1-2 feet deep) on a beach with a baby elephant in your lap, lightly splashing water on either side of it. So imagine you're sitting on the sandy ground with water up to your chest, your legs stretched out wide, and there's an elephant in front of you, and your arms are around it, splashing water. Elephant Tapping.

At some point, the documentary's narrator said something like "Olive has been in these waters since she was no bigger than a baby elephant." It showed her in the shallow water at about four years old splashing water by herself as a herd of about 12 elephants swam by her in perfectly straight lines. They all had their trunks in the air and they were smiling.

Different Kinds of Dinosaurs

I dreamed I was taking a little boy to the Geology Museum in Madison. I was excited because it was free. The kid was reluctant, so I explained to him that we'd be able to see how modern day animals are just "different kinds of dinosaurs." Right then, hundreds of giraffes appeared in front of us. I was able to tell which dinosaur they had each descended from. Some giraffes were giant, about ten times larger than they are in real life, and some were miniatures and incredibly skinny. One of the mini ones turned to green plastic. All of a sudden, I realized I'd lost the little boy, so I went searching through the geology building. I ran into professors everywhere - none of them would help me.

At first, the little boy was my brother at about 5 years old, then later turned into my friend Marc's son who is also five years old. Throughout the dream, they morphed from one to the other, and I could never tell who he really was.

Starring Dustin Hoffman as Me

I was in a library on the second floor and I kept walking between aisles of chairs, very close together. I was wearing a giant skirt, similar to my purple one, so it kept brushing against people as I walked by. I saw this kid, about 9 or 10 or so, checking out a book with his mother.

All of a sudden, it was my responsibility to drive this kid to a sleepover party. We were in a fancy neighborhood, picking up two of his friends (one of whom I worked with in camp a few years ago). It was dark, and there were two headlights (not attatched to anything) in the front yard of a house. "I have to go turn those lights off," said the boy. "No, I'll do it," I told him. "Is it so you can grab some of those jelly beans?" he asked. I looked in the front yard. It was now daytime, bright outside, and there was a giant bowl of very large jelly beans right next to a tree in the yard. "Yeah, that's why I'm going to go," I said.

For some reason, I had to run to do it. I first turned out the light by squeezing these two small, bright pink balloons that felt like they were filled with sand.. They were in the bowl of jelly beans, amidst the jelly beans, but I somehow knew which ones to squeeze. I then started frantically grabbing as many jelly beans as I could, holding them all in my arms. At one point I thought that I should put them in my shirt or something, but my brain told me "there's no time!" so I didn't. I was about to return to the car, but at the last minute, I also grabbed an apple from the lawn. Right as I did that....the COPS showed up! Boooo!

He was nice, kind of oaf-y, and asked me why I was doing this. "Look man, I just want the kids to get to their sleepover," I said to him. He agreed, but also told me that I'd need to go to jail anyhow. It was a minimum security jail...so minimum, in fact, that you could go home to sleep every night. My friend Mark from high school was there. I wondered if his band was able to be successful while he was in jail. I also realized that he was in there for tax fraud.

All of a sudden, I was watching this all as a movie and "I" was being played by Dustin Hoffman. I watched him exit this building that I recognized, followed by Rahm Emanuel. The building was "where my brother and father get their hair cut," which is real life is owned by Ralph and Tony, but in my dream, was owned by Rahm's father. He was also a therapist. The sign on the door said "come on in!" Rahm yelled at Dustin to get back inside the jail or he'd ruin it for the rest of the people there, which I believe is a quote from The Simpsons.

Next, I was in Hong Kong with Emil. We entered our hotel and walked up a few flights of stairs that were only about 16 inches in diameter. "I knew this fucking country would make me claustrophobic," I said. The Emil, Sara, and I traded cars and drove around while talking to each other. I think we may have gone to a concert.

Tailgating Table and All + Some Others

I had another group of extremely disjointed dreams last night and this morning. I ate a Cheesy Gordita Crunch before bed. I wonder if that's what did it.

1. I was "tailgating" with my family following some kind of concert. I think it was after seeing a play or orchestra or something because it was in a big auditorium. My cousins and I all texted each other to meet up in one place. We exited the building to find my mother setting up a crazy spread on these silver folding tables with white paper tablecloths outside a warehouse. It was on a busy street and the air was dirty. She'd made a baked brie and a bunch of "sausage rolls," which were giant hot dog looking things wrapped in fried dough. I kept trying to take pictures of my cousins Luai, taken between two rolls of paper towels, but every time I aimed the camera right at him, it would take a picture right next to him. When he did appear in the picture, he had enormous buck teeth.

Also, a hearse kept getting in the frame, and I worried about seeming inconsiderate to the people involved in the funeral since I was taking a picture of the hearse. Then I realized the hearse was pulling us and the table on a trailer that was hitched behind it. We were moving, tailgating table and all.

2. I was Samantha from Sex and the City and somebody was proposing to me. I cried really really hard because I couldn't marry this person, but it was "the perfect ring." Apparently I really had that whole Samantha character captured pretty well. The ring was either a yellow or light green color and was some kind of stone that wasn't a diamond.

3. I could see the inside of my eyes really well and everything that was going on. There was a black, blurry looking thing flying around that I thought was maybe a bat. I tried really hard to open my eyes but I couldn't do it. Then I saw an eyelash and it was swirling around in rapid, tiny circles.

4. I received an email from a 5 year old child and at the end it said "eagerly awaiting your response."

Secret Admirer

I was in a suite on the top floor of a fancy hotel. I'd just gotten out of the shower and was in a white bathrobe and towel when there came a knock at my door. It was a little boy, about three years old, who handed me a note. I took it, thanking him, and remembering that "this had been happening all night." That is, little kids were delivering notes to all the hotel guests all night and this was the third one I'd received.

As the boy turned to leave, I realized that I recognized him. "Hey, are you Reginald?" I asked. He looked back at me and his clothes transformed from regular clothes to a plaid short-pants outfit and he said "yeah." I knew him from this website. If you ever want to know what's funny in life, check that link.

After Reginald left, I opened the note. It was from a secret admirer. It told me to open my door at 8:00 pm and follow the trail. The trail would be made out of "gruyère cheese pieces, each topped with a savory onion ring" (word for word, what I remember), and that there would be nine of them leading me to my secret admirer. The note was typed in a pretty, swirly font, but somebody had crossed out "8:00 pm" and written, in sloppy handwriting and with a pen that was clearly running out of ink, "ten after 9:00."

I was excited for a little while until I realized it might be this one particular ex-boyfriend of mine, who I would never ever want to get back together with. I got all nervous and started practicing how to "let him down easy."