Drag Queen at the Beach

It's been a long time since any of us have posted over here, but I've been having a lot of funny/crazy/sweet dreams lately so I thought I'd try posting again and see if any of y'all feel like joining me in resurrecting this baby.

I dreamed last night that I woke up today and left for the beach vacation I'm going on in May. When I got there, I ran through the white sand and it felt like Egypt. Then I started exploring the house we were staying in which was lovely but sorta 70s-ish.

I got to one room that was full of someone's stuff, including a bunch of crazy platform shoes and a whole lot of leopard print. I realized all of a sudden I was in the wrong house, and the house I was in belonged to the Most Famous Drag Queen of Key West. When I finally met her, she did a fashion show for me of all the platform shoes, and the most fabulous ones were total Lady Gaga - lime green patent spikes that poked into Mello Yello cans that she had to balance on top of.

Whale Sharks and My Family

I was on vacation with my family - parents and siblings. We were on some beach that I think was maybe in Florida. We'd just arrived and decided to go swimming. There was this body of water that was like a combination of a lake and a pool, and there were four "whale sharks" swimming in it. They did not look like what real whale sharks do in real life...



...they were dark, almost black, glossy, and a bit bigger than a beluga. Although somebody told me there were four of them in there, I only saw three.

My father caught my attention and beckoned me over to where he was. There was a separate room with the "hot tub" in it - it was really just a smaller pool surrounded by large rocks and encased in glass, like a greenhouse. There was steam rising off the surface of the water. One whale shark swam in this water. My father was on the edge of the pool opposite from where I stood. Without speaking, he told me "watch this." He raised his hand high in the air and waved. The whale shark mimicked him with its tail. It imitated my dad so closely that it's tail changed shape; his tail looked just like a glossy, black version of my father's hand, five fingers and all. They were like mirrors of each other.

My father did many other hand motions, all of which the whale shark imitated with its tail. Very late in this whole production, I noticed that there was a third hand coming out of the pool, and it was the hand of a gorilla. I thought to myself "that's impossible, how could there be a gorilla under there?" Immediately after that thought, Emil confirmed it. "The tour guide told me it's true," he said.

I kept watching my father, wondering at how he could make the whale shark's tail do all these different formations. I was also very nervous about my father being so close to the water, since he can't swim (which has inspired other dreams). He got wet, but didn't fall in. He was wearing a suit.

Later, we were in my sister's front yard in Atlanta, where all of her living room furniture was placed in a very organized fashion. We were deciding what to give away. I chose a broken lamp. My father pointed a television remote control at nothing and a light turned on. It was dusk, and the air felt damp. The light was hazy and there were shades of purple everywhere. My mother sat in an easy chair and read. Everything felt very peaceful and calm.

Rock of Love Beach Volleyball Hockey

Oh jesus. Should I really admit that I had for the second time last night a dream about competing for Bret Michaels affection on Rock of Love??? My first dream about this was pretty great- you can read it here. But last night's dream was awful. Those who may have watched last night's episode of Rock of Love Tour Bus will likely notice the plot similarities.

I dreamed that I was staying in a beach house. I was trying to go to the beach but all my bathing suits were too big or too small. There was the peach one was baggy and provided zero support whatsoever. I was all floppy and the bathing suit was all floppy. And then there was a tan one that I couldn't even get over my boobs (no problem with the bottom half because like all the women in my immediate family, I have no ass). Then there was the leopard print one that fit me just right. Of course.

When I went outside I realized I was surrounded by all the women that are competing on Rock of Love Tour Bus. And what was worse, so was I. And there was a challenge- on the beach- which meant running around in my maybe-now-not-so-cute leopard print bikini. And what we had to do was use hockey sticks to hit a volleyball over a net and into a goal. And I stood there frozen cuz we each had to take individual turns and I knew there was no way in hell I could make the goal.

But then the tomboy girl competitor Beverly (who is from Georgia btw) whispered to me "pass the ball to me and I'll get it in the goal." So I did and she made the goal and we all jumped around because we were excited that we won a date with Bret! But with all the jumping my bathing suit top fell off and I had to hold it up to keep everyone from seeing my business as I ran back to the house.

Beach walk

[I must second Sara's excitment on recalling the dreams as I have been drinking my dreams away for months.  Being invited to this blog brought me to not drink last night, and I even ate chips and salsa at 3am to try and induce wild dreams (as hot food in my sleeping stomach riles the psyche); also it must have been five years since I became near-lucid in a dream like this. Synchronously intriguing.  Enough about me, onto the dream:]

I find myself walking down a beach i've never been on before.  There are thin, long barrier islands running along the beach not too far out, but there are still giant waves crashing.  The islands are covered with overgrown jungle.  This thick greenness is over-colored with the sunset's burnt oranges, but they are not colors that I have ever seen in the waking world and their brightnesses are in odd patterns and rows of light -- but there are no clouds in the sky.  These perplexities and the waves crashing onto the shore when the islands should be stopping them give me pause.  I feel a slight jolt of consciousness but it slips away. I fall back into the dream.

I find myself walking again.  I come upon beach chairs where my ex-wife and her best friend are chatting.  The ex- looks up at me and nonchalantly asks if I am here for the wedding celebration.  This question slices the veil completely open this time and I know I am dreaming, which lends me some semblance of control of what I 'say' to 'her,' "I am not going anywhere with you ever again.  We have agreed to let go of one another's life.  You no longer need be here."  This I think towards her figure as gently as I can because I know its not her, and yet she's in here with me.

I surround her in a thick white light -- and am waking from the dream as I do so -- and she glows into a white silhouette and melts/lowers into the ground, leaving in her place a hovering image of Jupiter (the planet) which is collaged together from the same oranges the trees should not have been able to reflect...