Showing posts with label dreamself. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dreamself. Show all posts

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

My biggest Fear is Sharks

Scuba Diving among sharks and realizing they are getting feisty; I won't make it to the boat, so I go to the bottom of the ocean because if I am 'grounded' the sharks can't touch me. But they keep circling and I am going to run out of air if I stay here and there's no way I'll make it to the boat before they will get to me and the panic wakes me up.

Almost immediately I fall back asleep and am in the car having decided to go to the airport to use the shower. I go to park in front [which would likely get me arrested in real life] and almost pass by an empty space so I try a tight turn but hit the car next to me into the car next to it. Damage seems minimal so I start to leave but a guy I went to middle school with comes hurrying up to me and I try to ignore him because I figure its about the cars, but he asks, incredulously, "why do you have to make everything about your divorce?"
"I don't, in fact I'm only just beginning to use the words 'K----' and 'ex-wife' in conversation and mostly only with close friends." I am relieved this is not about the cars I hit.
"But I've been watching you [I haven't seen him in 17 years] and your conversations always turn towards it."
"Well," I begin, "let me tell you why the last 8 years of my life were devoted to her in a variety of ways..." then I tell the whole story [which I will not repeat here] which feels like I talk in my dream for half an hour, with other random people arriving and taking interest in my story. I find it interesting, but am releived, that he does not point out the fact I made this conversation about my divorce.
[I wake up depressed and its snowing outside. I lay in bed wondering what part of me is stuck in middle school and is incredulous about my divorce...I hope to get back there and talk more with 'him']

Monday, September 29, 2008

Shocked

I was in a room that was underlit enough so I couldn't see the walls.  The guy across from me was a hard blonde with eastern european or russian sharp looks.  Without warning he launched himself at me and I was startled.  He knocked me to the floor and flipped me over on my face.  I couldn't see what he used to puncture my spine through the back of my neck.  It opened a hole out of which I slipped and, with this removed perspective, watched a milky smoke swirl follow me out.  From outside my prone body I felt panicked that the smoky substance would drift away.  This fear shocked me into that suspended state where I was only half dreaming so I quickly thought the smoke into a diamond-shaped glowing lightness that shimmered and disappeared.  The fear was neutalized and I woke with a feeling of peace.