The Bitter Tears in an Alley

I was walking at night in a city. I came across a dark alley. When I looked down the gravel, I saw the Bitter Tears slinking around. These ol' guys:



It seemed like they were trying to be creepy but really they were more like British humor:

Ideal Band

I was watching a band play in the far end of the parking lot across the street from my house. They sort of seemed like a noise band which is weird because I'm definitely not into noise, and I was really into this band. They had posted a "rule" on a sign behind them: nobody is allowed to wear masks in the audience unless they were sick or were afraid of getting sick or they were going to an amusement park where they might get sick. I thought of those blue paper surgical masks.

This band was scheduled to play here from 7 pm - 8 pm, and then they were supposed to play at The Inferno from 8:30 - 9:30. I planned on going over there, but I must have taken too long because when I was finally leaving my house, it was already 9:30. I decided to go anyway to check out the second band.

Thank god I did. You know who it was? Effing Axl Rose and Slash, backed up by The Bitter Tears. Basically, this combination makes my favorite band ever. I watched them in a room with only about 20 other people, and got a great view right up front. During their last song, Slash and Axl stood in the center of the stage playing music while the four members (Alan, Mike, Tony, and a girl with glasses that I'd never seen before) did organized, choreographed dances in a square around them. The Bitter Tears rotated places every 4-8 bars of music and faced inward, towards Axl and Slash. They did a lot of grand movements with their hands, and they were able to play their instruments at the same time. Their eyes were all very focused on Axl and Slash.

At the end of their last song, Axl ran into the "back room" where apparently there was an audience of about 200, so I decided not to fight my way back there. Some guy announced the next band, which turned out to be the band of Toby from The Office. That was a sold out show, so I didn't even have a choice in whether or not I wanted to go. Good job, Toby.

Lost My Car in a Dark Garage

I was at Anna's sister's wedding. Anna was the maid of honor, and as I watched her walk up the aisle before her sister, I grabbed my camera to take pictures. It was running out of batteries, so I kept turning it on and trying again, and I got a few mediocre shots out of it.

As I was taking the pictures, I remembered that I was supposed to play a song for the wedding and I didn't have my music with me. Since my music was at my parents' house and the wedding was just a few blocks away, I thought it would be fine for me to leave and run back to their house to get it. I assumed I'd get back to the wedding with no problem.

Then all of a sudden, I was in a giant high-rise parking garage. It was dirty and dingy and dark and scary with a million stairwells, several on each floor, so I couldn't keep track of where I was going. I held my keys tightly in my hand and kept pressing the lock button, which makes my car's horn honk. I could hear it very faintly in the distance. It was very high-pitched. As I climbed the stairs, the sound got harder and harder to hear, so I figured I should go back down. Whenever I got inside a stairwell where I'd be going down the stairs, I was able to jump down the whole thing with my fingers just lightly grazing the handrails. It was sort of like flying, but more so jump-falling in an organized fashion. Make sense?

I searched and searched everywhere, but I could not find my car. I did come across a man wearing a busted up tuxedo. He looked like some kind of cartoonish magician or the villain from an old movie. Crooked mustache, wilted flower in his boutonniere. He was digging through piles of junk, boxes of random things. He implied that he could help me find my car. I searched through the piles with him for a few minutes, turning up some of my own belongings. Then he led me to the base of a stairwell where three other people sat; two grown men and one little girl. "Stay here for 15 minutes," he told me. "Whatever you're looking for will show up."

I sat on the dirty floor and realized the two men and little girl were about to watch a movie. I thought it was probably be too scary for her. I also realized that the tuxedo guy was the owner of the fancy hotel that the parking garage was suddenly attached to, and I wondered how he had time to search through garbage when he had a fancy hotel to run.

Eventually I ended up in the lobby of the hotel, all dirty and standing out in the light of the giant chandeliers. I had not found my car or my music, and I was sure the wedding was long over, but Anna was there and still very nice to me. Hey, thanks for being a good friend, Anna!

Bret Michaels Rocks Out to GnR

I dreamed I was at a "rock n' roll" concert. It was a Guns N Roses concert from the 80s. Poison opened for them, but that was no big deal. When GnR got on stage, I was somehow able to watch from an angle so I could see the audience. Bret Michaels (singer of Poison) was there watching, and he was totally rocking out. He was wearing his signature bandana around his head, along with some kind of cartoonish pajama pants. He loved GnR. You could tell that it was the greatest thing he'd ever seen. But you could also tell that he was sort of a pansy in a band that looked like a bunch of ladies.

reception and flying

mike and i were at a wedding reception, i think, with our favorite band and their girlfriends and crew.  they were guests, too.  we were all dressed up, sipping cocktails in a giant, old ballroom, having a grand time.  good ol' friendsies. 

the next day i was snooping around the venue and was in a large office-y storage area.  it was all white with lots of windows wrapped around it and some desks and boxes scattered here and there.  somehow, i realized that i could fly.  i sort of leaped off something and soared by curving my spine and arms.  i believe this was based on a real-life experience where i tried one of those sky-diving simulators and you bend and arch and such to speed your fall or slow it down. 

the large room had those weird, white ceiling tiles and i accidentally soared up too quickly and bumped into the ceiling which caused the ceiling tiles of the whole room to shift off the grid.  i felt sheepish and quietly left before anyone could come and notice.

when describing this dream to mike today, two uncanny things occurred.  first, when i was trying to compare the ballroom to one he could reference, i couldn't think of the name of the damn eagles ballroom in oskhosh.  he blindly guessed "the eagles?" and i was all, "yeah!."  that was only a little uncanny.  but then!  he said that he had a dream about those white ceiling tiles, last night, too.  ooooooo.  something about installing them.  so we were laying right next to each other dreaming about ceiling tiles.  but i could fly and he couldn't. 

and now, here's a video of my favorite band, state radio.

Nothing Better to Do

I was at some kind of school assembly that was taking place in a big field. There were hundreds of chairs organized in very neat rows, and a big square stage at the center of them all. I sat down in a row right behind some of my friends. Some music started playing, and even though I didn't recognize it, I knew when to begin singing and what lyrics and tune to sing. As soon as I started singing, I realized it was "Rosanna" by Toto. I looked up to check out the band that was playing it, and realized the lead singer of this band was the actual lead singer from the band Toto! I thought to myself, "he probably has nothing better to do." Also, he looked nothing like him in real life.

Later, my row of chairs was removed from the group by some kind of forklift, and then I was in the car with my brother Emil and cousin Luai, looking for a wedding gift for a cousin of ours in London. We drove to a part of Madison I'd never been to. There were several Arabic stores and a Home Depot. The street name started with the letter B. Emil picked out an ugly necklace as a gift, which I didn't really like, but I kept my mouth shut because I was bored and wanted to leave the store.

Wedding Party

Recently I was at Mark and Alexa's wedding. In my dream I was at their wedding but it was different. No one danced, and it was stiff and formal. Then I realized it was Andy's wedding. I don't know who he was marrying. Then it was back to Mark and Alexa's. I gave a gift - a "bouquet of balloons" - each balloon was inflated a little with some water, fish, and crickets. Unfortunately, I forgot about them for a while. So by the time I was giving it to Andy, the fish and crickets were dead and it was really gross. Also I gave the DJ 5 cds to play. The first song was a Guns and Roses song which "pumped up the group" and helped the party be less formal. I left the party. Then I was upset because I realized I left my cds. Besides the Guns and Roses, I also had contributed X and The Muffs. I don't remember what the other 2 cds were. But I got a text from Andy saying, "Did I tell you I already have The Muffs' cd?" - basically implying that it was an unnecessary contribution. That along with the dead-cricket-fish-balloon-bouquet and I kind of felt like I didn't do so great.

An Emo Dream with Wallpaper and Tears

I was at my new job. But it was different - our job was putting up wallpaper but there was also a daycare center. I was self-conscious because one client was well-to-do and there was only one bathroom to use - in her bedroom. But it turned out she was very nice.

Then I was hanging out with my friends from college. KD was there. (In real life I'm a little obsessed). He was crying so I gave him a big hug. I was crying too. I told him, "Sometimes I get a little depressed." He said, "We all do."

"This Is Not Piano, This Is Dreaming"

This is not a dream, but a video a friend sent me. It's a segment of an interview with Duke Ellington. Check it:



Just what I needed to hear this morning!

Lost and a Play

It's a long one...get ready...

I dreamed that I was sitting outside a cabin with a bunch of people. We sat around a fire. I think it was my family and then some people I vaguely knew. Things felt weird, sort of socially uncomfortable, and like people weren't totally happy being there. Some people were having silent disagreements. I was nervous.

I'm not sure how it transitioned into this next part, but somebody told me that my friend C was inside the cabin and he wasn't okay. I thought they meant he was dead. I ran inside to find my brother dozing in and out of sleep on the couch, and my friend C laying on the floor. He looked at me and was crying. He was telling me "I can't do this anymore." Then he was in an old-timey-looking armchair. I held on to him and he cried and sweated and I kissed him on the shoulder. I told him he needed to keep trying other things. The room was dark with only the light flickering from the television, and Emil was there this whole time.

After a really long period of silence, I put my hand over one of his, and they started convulsing insanely. I removed my hand. At this point the entire "foyer" of the cabin filled with my parents and all these strangers, all old fashioned looking. It was like the entire cast of Oliver Twist or something. They kept telling me that it was time, that they'd have to take him. I knew they meant to a mental institution. My mother looked at me sadly and I knew she agreed that he had to go. I screamed and debated and carried on. I don't think I've ever screamed like this in real life. I begged for just a little more time to fix him myself. One man, the ringleader, had an olde timey mustache and tiny, round glasses (he would have talked like "yeah, see? That's the ticket!"). He pointed a black umbrella in the air, and the umbrella grew to be about ten feet long. It had a really sharp point, and I knew they were going to stab C with it if I didn't do anything.

Everything faded out.

All of a sudden, I'm at an effing play with my family, sitting in the front row. I couldn't follow the story line, but there were a ton of princes, and it may have been loosely based around Cinderella. The evil stepmother was dressed like I Dream of Jeanie, but in green. At the end of the play, there was a "Procession of Queens," one from each country of the world. I tried to identify them by their outfits, but the only one I was sure of was The Queen of the North Pole because she was dressed all in red with white furry accents, a la Santa Claus.

After that, one of the actresses leaned right over my mother. My mother put each of her index fingers on the actresses shoulders and gently pushed her away. "Wait," the actress mouthed to my mother. I looked up to see C, about to fly on stage on a zip line. He wore a white undershirt and black pants. He flew in, right behind this actress, and landed in front of us, but there was definitely no zip line - this guy was flying, for real. The final dance number happened, and C beat on this drum and on the floor and on the railing that separated us, all with his bare hands, and cried from happiness. He looked straight at my mother and thanked her over and over again.

After the play, I found myself walking alone, trying to get somewhere in Chicago. I saw the river and walked alongside it, but got terribly lost. I kept asking people which direction was west, and people would laugh, or be like "Oh you're WAY off," or tell me to find Boston Rd. And one man told me that we were too remote. "I just want to know which way is west!" I said, almost crying. "I'm having a really hard day!" He ignored me and walked away.

I finally went into a 7-11 or something like it and talked to the manager. He was about 22 or so and had really curly blonde hair. I also told him that I was having a hard day. He was really nice and gave me a free ice cream and walked outside with me for awhile. He pointed me in a direction under a tunnel and told me to find Boston Rd. He said once I found Boston Rd, I'd be fine. He also gave me his card so that we could see each other again. I walked for what seemed like hours, feeling really alone and lost and unsure until I finally saw the Chicago skyline and felt better. At least I recognized something...

I woke up to a piercing smoke alarm and felt sad and exhausted for awhile. But looking back now, the funny parts are really effing funny, you know? And C in a musical? Awesome.

Upside Down Mouthpieces

I dreamed I was watching an orchestra perform. the orchestra was comprised entirely of clarinet players. Every one of them had their mouthpieces on upside down, and thusly had to hold their clarinets way out in front of them instead of close to their bodies as a proper clarinet player should.

I kept trying to tell them this before they started the performance, but nobody would listen. Dicks...

Rock Star Failure

It's pretty vague but I had to perform a duet in front of a large stadium-style audience, I believe in an educational institution. The person I was performing with was a famous female rock star who looked an awful lot like the girl I went to prom with in real life. I got my cello. We both knew the song we were performing but as I walked out on stage in the bright lights I realized we had not practiced together. And we sounded like crap. It was more her fault than me. But I was really bummed out.

I went to my basement and sulked with a friend. This weird rock star girl sat outside my window smoking cigarettes and carving initials into a tree. I watched her, not thinking she could see me. But then she looked up and said, "I know you're watching me."

A series of strange dreams

I had a dream I went to visit my sister in Illinois (who just had a baby) and while we were there she asked us (my other siblings and I) to take her out to get some groceries. My mom stayed at her house to watch the kids. We got to the store and all she wanted was five large water containers. Like the kind they use for office water coolers. So we went in search of them and at one point we walk by a mother and her son. And the mother is yelling at her son for some reason or another. And at one point she calls her son "a stupid motherfucking fat fuck". At which point Brenda (my sister who just had the baby) stops and says to her "I'm sorry, is that your son?" and the woman says "uh, yeah. What are you going to do about it?" and Brenda turns to the son and says "Don't let her make you feel bad. Its her fault that she didn't give you vegetables when you were growing up and probably just fed you fried chicken and fast food". The mother is then silent and Brenda walks away and I remember feeling really proud of her.

I also had a dream that I was at a concert but the only instruments that were being played were musical saws. It was a beautiful concert. In that dream I had my saw with me too and I was showing it off to people who went to my high school, specifically who were in band with me. I also had pipes from a pipe organ. And when asked about them I said "oh no no, that's for something else..." but I never said what it was for. And I'm not sure why I had them with me. I bumped into my coworker there, who had ordered some books from someone about music theory, which is odd because this coworker listens mostly to techno music from the UK. Anyway, he was also complaining a lot about someone who was there. But I'm not sure what it was about. And then I saw my old band teacher there. The one who denied me the position of drum major (and whom I occasionally still think of with a burning hate). He told me about how he had become a business owner selling books and cleaning houses. His assistant was with him. Who I recognized as this girl that I met at popfest a few years ago who was a feminist and totally awesome and I was disappointed that she had become his assistant. And I told him about all the amazing things I've done with myself since high school, trying to piss him off. He then gave me some books and said "Here, your friend Bessie ordered some books. Would you mind giving them to her?" I agreed. I remember also thinking about asking him about his friend who came to the high school to play guitar for the senior year musical, Footloose... because I remember this friend totally hitting on me and I thought he was really cute. But I decided against it.

The Most Bando Music Nerd Dream I've Ever Had

I dreamed that I was in a class with Sherin. It was probably a high school class, but we were our current age. We were supposed to be silently reading from this giant book we were sharing. It was a book of the sheet music for the musical Les Misérables.

I was reading a story about one of the characters when I realized Sherin had been trying to get my attention for awhile. She was all giggley and motioned towards one page where she had drawn a stick figure drawing of the character (Marius) who sings this particular song. I laughed really hard. She'd also drawn "a heart" around the whole page, but it looked like a giant oval, not a heart. Everything was drawn childishly and crudely, in crayon. We realized that we needed to get back to work since the teacher was looking at us. I flipped to one song called "Bring Him Home" and began reading it. The I realized I'd need to play the first note on the piano it in order to read it.

In my dream I played a Bb.

It sounded like a B.

In the real sheet music (which I ran to check right after I woke up), it's a C.

These three notes are all half steps apart, i.e. they're all right next to each other on a piano, including both black and white keys. Wow...bando...

Band in the Park

A sort of disjointed dream...

I dreamed I was in a large park heading east towards a gathering area. I was in a hurry to get there, but I kept having to stop and talk to people, or stop to watch these big crowds of people walking, or people on bicycles, going past me. I finally got where I needed to be, and realized I'd be seeing a band play. I was sitting behind the band, tightly sandwiched between a lot of other people, on plastic folding chairs.

The band turned out to be about 4 or 5 keyboards, all set up next to each other longways, end to end. The person playing the keyboard right in the the middle was the one and only SWEET N' SOUR LARRY SWEENEY! I watched him play keyboards and conduct the band, and at one point I thought "Wait, if Larry can play these piano parts, I probably could too..." During one song, he got up and started dancing in front of the keyboards. I remember feeling mad that Jacob, who has an enormous celebrity crush on Larry, was nowhere to be found. "He didn't even try," I thought to myself.

I was later in a department store, looking for my sister and her friend. We found each other in the "Wedding Section." I turned on my cell phone and had 4 text messages and 10 voicemail messages. Most of the voicemails were from people I never talk to, named "Austin," "Dive," "Hot Somebody," etc.

Former Homes and Lovers

It's been a long time since I've posted a dream. I'm usually like my sister Reem, dreaming vividly and remembering all the details. But it's been strange for the last month I haven't been dreaming at all. In few days I have had a few dreams, but none of which I could remember when I woke up. But I finally remember a few details today so I figured that I should probably write them down in an effort to will my dream memory back.

I dreamed that I was moving out of my old house on Killian Street (which I did in real life over 3 years ago). Instead of moving to the house I live in now, I was moving into this beautiful, airy loft. As I was packing things up I kept finding dust bunnies in the corners in the living room and stacks of old pictures of my family.

In another dream, I had reunited with a former lover of mine, this rebellious political folk singer that I haven't seen in years. We laid in bed in my room of my parent's house and we kept asking each questions on topics I really enjoy discussing, and both giving answers I'd give. (Example: "Don't you love songs that play on the theme of Hush Little Baby?" "Yes! Like Bob Weir's Ashes and Glass, or Dudley by Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and sometimes I even think Bright Eyes' Bowl of Oranges..."

Then we went for a long walk outside in fields of snow. We wore snowshoes and and he found me a coral necklace. We ate salmon for dinner.

Polly Wolly Doodle

I dreamed that it was Layla's wedding day, and I was supposed to play piano during the service. Layla had previously asked me to play five songs - I can see the way they were listed on the program, numbered with roman numerals. The first song was "Here Comes the Bride," the second was some folk song that I think maybe was "Polly Wolly Doodle," and the third was a Bach Prelude (for those of you who are curious, it's the Prelude in C Major, the one that's played under the Ave Maria).

The "church" looked more like a community center with long rows of pews. There was brown carpeting and some bulletin boards along the walls. It was noisy and unorganized, and people were walking around, even when the wedding technically started. Layla had told me to find a woman who would give me the piano music that I was supposed to play. She was late, but she eventually found me and handed me a thick folder. I opened it, expecting to find sheet music, but instead, found a huge stack of children's artwork. There were large piece of felt covered in glitter and glue, all in red and yellow and other bright colors. No music to be found...

I stopped Layla right before the wedding was about to begin and said "This is just the rehearsal, right?" She replied "No, this is the real thing." I instantly got worried and said to her "You didn't even invite my parents!" She assured me that it would be fine, and the wedding began, amidst the people milling about and the background noise. I had a very hard time doing Polly Wolly Doodle by ear - I kept messing up the left hand chords, but I did okay with the melody in the right hand.

Proud to be an American

I was at Sara's Halloween party, only it was taking place in a Sam's Club or Costco or something. I remember seeing parts that were identical to the place where the party actually took place, but then there were also aisles and aisles of groceries and outdoor furniture, all stacked up high.

Sara brought out the karaoke machine and said "Okay, the next song is yours." I asked her what it was and she didn't know. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the song "Beauty School Dropout" from the movie Grease. Nevertheless, I rocked it. I remember thinking about how it was a little too low for my voice, but how awesome it was that I was able to sing it. I drew a crowd and the party got all crazy. Everybody was excited about karaoke!

The song finished, and somebody (I'm not sure who) called dibs on being next. They were all excited to see what song they'd sing, and then the song title appeared on the screen: "Proud to be an American." Everybody started booing and groaning, and the party guests all slowly disappeared.

The all the Hodi cousins (parents and all) appeared through the crowd carrying boxes and trays of snacks, like what one might buy at Sam's Club. Included were lots of Hostess Cherry Pies and tiny little martinis (I think this was because I watched Top Chef last night). "Where should we put all of this?" asked my uncle. "Just throw them in the Burrito Room," I replied. "That's where the food goes."

Later on in the dream, my friend Dan tried to kiss a girl and somehow his mother ended up with a broken nose. Also, I was in Canada with my family and my dad was talking about how none of his "band members" would be able to get back into the U.S. because none of them had brought the correct papers and all of them were too drunk from the wedding the night before. He laughed as he said it.

I wrote a song

Man, I had an awesome dream last night and I barely remember any of it. I think I was watching So You Think You Can Dance or something. There was a huge stage, all black, with some risers in the back. Some mid tempo music started playing, oh I wish I could describe it- kind of electronicy. Anyway, a spotlight came up on a girl dressed in bright yellows, aquas and greens and started singing. Then she did a little dance move and froze. Another spotlight came up and a guy was standing there and started singing. This continued for a while until the song started to rock out and they all started dancing and singing. The most awesome thing about this dream is that the song they were singing was not a real song, it was like I was writing a song in my sleep. I woke up like right after the dream and knew I would forget all the words to this awesome song, but I remembered one line. The line right before the song started to rock out, the last girl in the spotlight sang "You can keep time by the beating of my heart!"

The Angel Singers Visit Me

I will preface this by saying that this might be one of the greatest dreams I have ever had.

I was at a bar with my parents, siblings and cousins that is near my cousin Layla's house. I've never actually been there but have always wanted to because I'm told that the menu is made up of burgers named after hair metal bands. In my dream though, none of the burgers looked any good- like the Mötley Crüe burger had cubes of ham on it. Gross.

I look up and see a small group of people in front of me; Neil Young is standing among them. I gasp and slowly move towards him. As I approach him I beckon to him to come in close so I can tell him a secret. I whisper in his ear

"You are one of my angels."

He looks into my eyes and says back, "because of my voice?" I nod. He then grabs me and and spins me around him in a giant embrace. He is beaming. I ask him

"Do you want to know who else are my angels?" He nods. I start listing

"Asdru from Ozomatli, Jerry Garcia, Perry Farrell, the Porcupine Singers... most importantly, Tom Waits..." Neil interrupts me and whispers close in my ear and says "Well, you're in luck then, darlin'."

I look up and on the little built-in stage Tom Waits himself is getting ready to play. My hands fly to my cheeks; I can't believe it. He plays two songs for us. He starts with "Cemetery Polka" and I just stand there staring at this madman 5 feet from me. I think he played a trumpet at one point which I don't think he really does in real life. My family is looking over at me smiling, so happy to see me so thrilled. My dad takes a picture of me.

Then Tom starts on "Who Are You", one of my very favorites of his vast repertoire. This song includes lines like "I fell in love with your sailor's mouth and your wounded eyes", lines that I have often thought if any man ever says to me I will marry him then and there and live happily ever after.

Tom was singing directly to me and he sings the line "I did my time in the jail of your arms" and its like a skipping record, he repeats that line 3, 4, 5 times just staring intensely into my eyes. I can feel Neil behind me with his hands gently on my shoulders. And I smile through the tears that are spilling down my face, because now I know why we were whispering- this is our secret.

After he finishes the song, Tom mumbles something incoherent into the mic but I swear I can make out that he says something like "you heard the important part," and I know he was talking to me. And he ambles offstage and Neil follows him.

I bite my lip and start walking towards my smiling family.