Moon Museum, Tattoos, Red Sox, Michael Jackson

I was with my family and we went to an AWESOME museum exhibit on moons. Everyone got a free action figure and a little boy asked if he could trade with me. I said yes. Also there was a large photo on the wall - a collage of various people hanging out with the "red sox coach" and it included a picture of me eating pancakes with him. I bragged a bit about that, and a girl got annoyed. I was with Reem and we skipped most of the museum and talked about boys and she cried because a boy was not getting her published like he said he would. We were talking with my family and my mouth was full of pins and coffee grinds, so I excused myself to take care of that.

Then I was in a classroom situation, and we had a special guest - Michael Jackson! He sat down next to me. He was really nice. I was so flustered - MICHAEL JACKSON is sitting next to me! A girl was like, "What's your problem?" since I was all blush-y and I was like, "Michael Jackson!!!" and she looked at me like I was stupid. I quickly updated my facebook status to let people know I was sitting next to Michael Jackson in class. A few people wrote things like, "Not funny" and I realized that MJ has been dead. This was not the actual Michael Jackson, but a guy who kind of looked like him and sounded like him. And everyone else was smart enough to get that but me.

Then I was in a tattoo shop where my girlfriend worked. There was drama - the boss announced new pay rates and they sucked. My gf and her colleague told me about a big screw-up they had. They were doing a piece on a "cheerleader who was a Green Bay Packers fan who had lots of metal work in her mouth". The piece was a "bowl of chili" and it looked like it was sliding off of her. I asked if the girl paid for it and they laughed and were like, "Yeah right." (this last part is from watching LA Ink).

The "F" in Family

So I was hanging out with a bunch of random people, including the significant other of an ex-boss of mine who I never knew too well in real life. She was talking about how families suck and was like, "We all know what the "F" in family stands for, but what about the rest of it?" We came up with "F.uckin' A....(M)...I.ll-mannered, L.oud (Y)." I don't remember the M or the Y. Somehow there was a list of adjectives with first letters that spelled out "family." And it was really funny and clever. Stupid families!

Scary Sexy Superheros

I was in the woods with 3 friends. I don't know who they were. We were camping, but then saw some terrifying things. Evil Superheros were gathering, all in amazing costumes, flying, and easily killing things. We decided to join them and be spies. I had to wear a hat and wig so they wouldn't recognize me as not one-of-them. We did a "practice run" of evil, that was surprisingly easy. We had to kill some small animals and I found that in this group's presence I could kill easily and even fly a little. Not bad! The woods we were hanging out in were really scary, with haunted trees and caves. These evil scary superheros were actually pretty cool. The leader was an extremely sexy woman. I came up to her and whispered in her ear that I would love to sleep with her and that I was really awesome in bed. Really. Somehow that worked, and she said, "Okay meet me at 3pm on Friday and we'll do it then." When the time came I was very excited and kept adjusting my hat and wig, and started to worry that she would find out that I was a mere mortal and not a superhero, though still good in bed. Unfortunately, she didn't show up.

Scary World Take-Over

I went to high school (I AM ALWAYS IN HIGH SCHOOL IN DREAMS!) and it was super chaotic, but no one would tell me what was going on. I tried to ask a teacher, and she laughed like I was making a joke. After all, how could I *not* know that it was the apocolypse? We weren't allowed to leave, but I needed to see my family. So I ran to my car and drove down a street where all these scary guys in black and orange uniforms were shooting at me with machine guns. Actually they were shooting everywhere. Somehow I managed to get back to the school safe and sound. The people there were like, "Uh, yeah DUH you're not supposed to be driving around cuz you'll OBVIOUSLY get shot." Some people called them terrorists. But it almost seemed like they were not quite human. They were taking over the area and just shooting up everything and everybody. Their war tactics were superior to anything we had, and all police interventions were futile. I dove through some bushes and wore all black. I crept up upon them. I wanted to check out these assholes up close. Almost immediately they caught me. I threw my hands up. "I SURRENDUR!" I started to beg for my life and started to bargain with one of the more sympathetic seeming dudes. I told him I had not only a regular DVD player to give him that he could sell, but I also had a fancy DVD player that could play VHS, DVDs, and some 3rd type of technology. He seemed interested and hesitated. I also offered him my body which he was not interested in. He let me walk ahead of him to give him these goods. Then some of his war buddies started shouting - they needed his help. "Wait here!" he commanded. But as soon as he turned the corner, I RAN as fast as I could, into a random house and hid in a closet.

Choreographed Dance

I was abroad. A semester somewhere in Africa. I rode an elephant on the highway. He could go up to 45 mph. It was really fun.

Then I was at home on vacation. Some girl had a great idea. She decided to make our cats do a choreographed dance! We dressed them in nun outfits and they sang and danced. I said, "my mom will LOVE this - she loves singing nuns." This morphed into a group of college students doing a choreographed dance for their parents. It became huge. The song was very generic, but the audience knew it and sang along. I had the great idea to do a "punk rock verse" after the normal version of the song. I gave one of the performers a denim jacket I had in college with some band patches on it.

The show went great. I was the conductor, but instead of a stick I had some long dangly thing that kept hitting me in the arm. The students did great and each time they sang it it was bigger and better. At the end they got into a pyramid and held up flags. Then...Punk rock version! I shouted "1-2-3-4!" and they all danced around and for some reason stripped down to their underwear.

Afterwards we ate dinner and someone's dad saw one of the performing college students walking home in the snow in just his boxers. He said, "That guy is an idiot."

I'll Never Get Into Harvard

I got my fingers pierced. One finger on each hand. Kind of like a gem on the finger minus the ring. Later it turned into pierced wrists, like a stud on the outside of each wrist. It actually looked really cool. Kind of like this picture, but not quite.

I was hanging out with my college friends. We were all getting dressed up and showered and ready to go out. Helen said some nuns flirted with her. Someone I went to college with and can't remember her name right now was mad at me because she knocked on the door but I did not hear it so she had to wait. Sorry!

While I was in the shower, something weird and sexual happened. This girl I have not seen in probably 4 years saw me and informed me that due to the sexual incident, she would not be my friend anymore. I denied anything that happened, but she looked at me with pity and said no more friendship.

Then we were all at Harvard then at a fancy luncheon. I spilled my water or coffee all over the table. I got as many napkins as I could to clean it up, but it was quite a mess. This official lady came over to whisper to me, "Are you okay?" I said sure, I was fine. She looked at me with pity and said, "Well...The spilling thing..." And it was clear I could kiss my chance at Harvard good bye.

Never Ending Store

I was shopping for a xmas gift for my gf. I went into a "cool" store that had like band t-shirts and cds and stuff. I was looking at the t-shirts for a while. Then I walked around the store. It grew and grew. I went down a level and saw beer. One of my old students was there looking at beer and we talked. Then I went back up to the shirts and looked at sex toys but they were very expensive and I knew some of the people in the store so I was self-conscious. I went back down a level. It was HUGE. I said, "I never knew this part of the store existed!" Someone said, "This floor is only open on Fridays." I was walking very fast; kind of stressed because I wanted to find the perfect gift and only had a certain ammount of time. There were stoned people everywhere. The nice chill ladies working said, "Chill out, take your time." They were selling very weird pipes and bongs with "legal bud". Some teenagers bought some and I asked if it was any good - they said yes but you had to smoke it "on the right axis." I tried to smoke some but they only had really weird looking pipes. I tried one that looked like a bird. One was really long and skinny like a chop-stick. Then I kept walking around the store. In one section they were giving someone tattoos. Then I found a cool row of weird toys. They were really cool looking - stuffed strawberries with faces and things. Kind of like these:
but different. Finally I left to go home and opened my bag. All I bought was a stupid obscure band t-shirt for some group I never even heard of. My gf wouldn't like that.

Short but Not So Sweet

I had a dream that my hair was UGLY.
Then I woke up in real life and my hair was UGLY.

Dirty Cocaine, Making Out, Band Trip

My little sister was acting like an a-hole. I figured out it was because she was doing the cocaine. I asked her about it and she explained it was "dirty cocaine" so you had to cut it VERY carefully to make sure there were no "fingernails" or human particles in it. (This makes me want to barf). Nevertheless, I tried some and then regretted it, as I was about to embark on a band/orchestra trip because I was suddenly in high school again.

The orchestra trip was like a work conference with lots of team builders. There was one activity we did that was like "red light, green light" and everyone was annoyed that we had to do it. There were 2 cute girls in the room that I had my eye on. We had a 5 minute break, so I went to buy a drink for a cute girl. I ran outside to a bar next door. Their menu had fancy martinis on it for only $4 or $5 - I wanted to get 2 "marshmallow fluff martinis" but the waitress was being slow, so I ran back to the group, sans drinks. Finally the activity was done, and I asked a cute girl if she wanted to hang out with me.

She was like "yes" and started making out with me! It was cool. Then we were in Philadelphia but did not know where to go. So I asked my friend Matt who lives there where to go - we stopped by his house. He was making an extremely tall structure out of cardboard and it looked amazing. I don't think I got to make out anymore.

Co-Workers: Sexual and Violent

Last night I dreamed about 2 (recent) co-workers.

The first one shared a room with me. She asked me if I minded if she had sex in the room. I said I didn't care. In the dream I woke to her and a gentleman friend "getting it on." The funny thing was that first I heard them discussing code words that referred to different sexual acts. But the words were totally random. I WISH I could remember them. It was like, "Hippopotomous," "Cotton Ball," and "Hypothermia." So all I heard was moaning and saying these different words over and over again.

Later I was with a different co-worker. I found out she was evil. She kept a child on a scary S/M-like collar and leash for ten years and was abusive. I couldn't figure out why no one reported this to the police, so I ran to the police and told them even though she told me not to. They came quickly and took her away. She turned to me and said, "FUCK YOU!"

Wedding Party

Recently I was at Mark and Alexa's wedding. In my dream I was at their wedding but it was different. No one danced, and it was stiff and formal. Then I realized it was Andy's wedding. I don't know who he was marrying. Then it was back to Mark and Alexa's. I gave a gift - a "bouquet of balloons" - each balloon was inflated a little with some water, fish, and crickets. Unfortunately, I forgot about them for a while. So by the time I was giving it to Andy, the fish and crickets were dead and it was really gross. Also I gave the DJ 5 cds to play. The first song was a Guns and Roses song which "pumped up the group" and helped the party be less formal. I left the party. Then I was upset because I realized I left my cds. Besides the Guns and Roses, I also had contributed X and The Muffs. I don't remember what the other 2 cds were. But I got a text from Andy saying, "Did I tell you I already have The Muffs' cd?" - basically implying that it was an unnecessary contribution. That along with the dead-cricket-fish-balloon-bouquet and I kind of felt like I didn't do so great.

BeatleJuice

I dreamed I was in BeatleJuice. It wasn't a movie, it was real life. Beatle Juice was very scary.

An Emo Dream with Wallpaper and Tears

I was at my new job. But it was different - our job was putting up wallpaper but there was also a daycare center. I was self-conscious because one client was well-to-do and there was only one bathroom to use - in her bedroom. But it turned out she was very nice.

Then I was hanging out with my friends from college. KD was there. (In real life I'm a little obsessed). He was crying so I gave him a big hug. I was crying too. I told him, "Sometimes I get a little depressed." He said, "We all do."

Failing School and Scary Animals

I keep having dreams about forgetting to go to class and failing. Last night I was in college and taking 3 classes, 2 of which I were getting F's in. I planned to stay up all night cramming for the exam in one of them to at least pass the class. And I was upset because I was failing 2/3 of my classes, so why bother paying for all this school? *

Also there were scary animals - kind of like eels. I kept capturing them and trying to kill them, but they would divide and wriggle away. I've had lots of scary animal dreams, especially about fish (since recently aquiring a pet goldfish).

*I've been done with school for 4 years. When will I stop dreaming about it?

Mish-Mash of Common Themes

Last night was like a managerie of all the common dream themes I have.

At various points I was:

-walking around, then realized I had no shirt on, felt embarassed but just crossed my arms in front of me and kept going

-wondering around a huge academic building where I forget to go to class and the semester's almost over

-hanging out with my girlfriend, who sometimes turned into an ex-girlfriend

-seeing musicians. Last night they were various lesbo bands.

The Hell's Satans

I don't remember my dream very well, but I know I was hanging out with some friends from high school. At one point, one of them said he thought I hated him in high school. I hugged him and said no, I never hated him, I was just socially awkward. We had a slumber party. One friend brought an inflatable water bed. At 9:30 in the morning we got drunk on vodka tonics to the point where I spilled mine. He looked at me and said, "Normally I'm not self-destructive like this." There was a tone of judgement in his voice.

Then we went to a tavern with a group of friends, some from college. We wanted to see the band play, and then suddenly it was beautiful classical music in a fancy music hall. One of my friends, J, who I have not seen in several years brought in a sandwich from Subway. She took off the plastic wrap and it was REALLY LOUD and crinkly, and everyone stared at her until she got kicked out. She was extremely upset, so I walked her and her baby (who suddenly appeared) home.

When we were walking home we passed a few guys who looked very tough. Lots of tattoos. They were very scary. Okay, in real life I wouldn't see a biker with a lot of tattoos and get scared. But in my dream they were terrifying. I knew they were white supremacists, violent, and evil. Something happened when we passed them, I can't remember what, but it pissed them off. So I knew they were after us. They were going to kill us! I looked them up online and their "bike gang website" proved how evil and violent they were. I was in a panic, making phone calls, gathering belongings, we had to get out of there!!!! I can't remember how it ended.

School, Jamming, and a Girl

I was in school with Reem Tara, in a large auditorium-like space. The class had different parts. First was music. She and I "jammed" hilariously on drums, a bass, and something else. I played a jazzy riff on the bass and it was awesome. Ben Marx walked by and laughed at us. Then we got papers handed back to us. Reem Tara and I did ours together and we got...AN A+!!! We were so happy. The teacher, who is a co-worker of mine in real life, was very impressed. Then came the test - people took turns standing up and demonstrating different angles. So someone bent over far, and the teacher demonstrated that that was a 45 degree angle. Then someone else spun around and around and around (doing multiples of 360 degrees) and finally the teacher said, "Okay, that's enough!"

Later I was walking down the street and saw the girl of my dreams, who kind of looked like this. She went into her stupid boyfriend's apartment. I followed after her and saw she had put 3 posts up outside his door leading him from one, to another, to the 3rd one. The 3rd one had a present. They were strewn about, so I knew he already saw them, so I took them.

Then I was hanging out again with Reem Tara and Helen. Helen informed me that (this girl of my dreams) was coming over later because they were friends. I got super nervous but luckily I was wearing a cute outfit - a pink shirt and a pink skirt (different shades of pink). Then I realized I was still holding the signs I stole from her boyfriend's apartment building, so I threw them very hard into the garden that was all of a sudden there. Girl Of My Dreams came over and was shy and I did not know how to talk to her. I told them about how Reem and I "jammed" during school and laughed like it was the most interesting and hilarious thing ever. I don't think the Girl of My Dreams was impressed.

Military Mockery

This dream is fading fast...But I do know that I went to a small-town event that was in honor of Parkinson's disease patients. Prior to this event I was at a neighbor's house where children were. I noticed a sharp looking military outfit and the mom encouraged me to "try it on - it looks good!"

So I wore the military uniform to the Parkinson's diesease event. The woman in charge was SO excited to have me there - she said she would ask me to stand up and "represent the military." I did not have the guts to tell her that I was an imposter who was merely wearing an outfit.

I stayed at the event for a bit and then quickly left. In the dream, I thought it was kind of funny that people thought I was in the military. But afterwards a co-worker who was there YELLED at me. She said I was insensitive towards people who are really in the military and that I clearly "have a problem with men." So I SCREAMED at her, saying that I was at the Parkinson's event for 2 important male members of my family, so how is that having a problem with men?

Also as I was walking from the event I saw huge frogs on the grass. And another neighbor offered me money to help her clean up her dog poop. And I got a parking ticket but had no money to pay it.

Hypnotic Hair Dye

As part of a research study, I was hypnotized and then given a series of tasks to perform over 8 hours. The tasks were easy and mundane. The only one I remember was "find someone listening to ___" (specific song). So I was walking around doing some tasks. I felt stoned and things were slightly unclear. I passed a store front that advertised wedding treats. I went inside to pick up something for some friends who are getting married in the future. It turns out that it was a naughty bakery, and I was not sure if a cake-penis or cake-breast was really appropriate to bring. Then my twin sister and her partner showed up, and they both had hot pink streaks in their hair. The women working at the bakery brought me to the back where it was a huge salon. They said, "You would look SO good with pink hair too." I kind of laughed and said, "Yeah" in a way that apparently gave the impression that I wanted them to dye my hair. I left the naughty baker/salon, and continued trying to do my tasks. Then I realized they had put foil in my hair and that I was supposed to go back - they thought I wanted them to dye my hair! So I went back, and fumbled over my words. I said, "I'm not on drugs, but I'm hypnotized!" They charged me $90 and I said, "I'll pay, but I don't want my hair dyed, nor do I want a naughty cake!" and the guy looked at me like I was crazy. They clearly forgot that a wedding treat was the original reason for me going into the store in the first place. I returned to my original starting point. I have no idea how many "tasks" (if any) I actually completed.

Bible Study and WOW

I was a student. One of my assignments was to go to a school in the next town which was known for being a little "strange." First I spied on the school to see what I was getting into. Over the hill and looking down on a large building with people walking around. Looked normal.

I went into a classroom and sat down. The first half of the class was Bible study and the teacher scolded me for not knowing which passage to read. The second half of the class was playing World of Warcraft.

I left during this time to go to an administrative office. I found that one of the small rooms near the office had a "spooky feel" to it and that it was brain-washing everyone who worked there.

So I needed to get into battle. Buffy the Vampire Slayer showed up for a bit, but her attitude was, "Um, really? You need help fighting spooky religious school teachers?" and she was kind of a stuck up bitch.