Guns, Granola and Guest Stars

I have been dreaming so much lately and having a hard time keeping track. It's like every night there is a really long intense dream.

In this one I was at a supermarket and there was a raffle going on. There were three large carts full of healthy things you could win. In one of the carts was a bunch of yogurt and 'beneful' which is dog food in real life, but I think in the dream it was kinda like granola. I really wanted to win that cart of stuff, but I was upset that it was vegan yogurt. I walked around the grocery store trying to find someone to talk to to see if I could switch it out if I won. Somehow I got lost and ended up in the managers office. It had a big table in the center and a large white couch on the side of the room. On top of the table was one of those fake tubular fish tanks things, this this:
Except in the dream there were real fish in it. A man with chin length hair was standing by the table and knocked the fish tank over. It shattered and water was everywhere. Somehow I knew he was in the office trying to rig the raffle so he would win. I was terrified now, because I had seen him knock over the fish tank. He looked up and saw me and pointed a gun at me. I screamed and ran behind the couch. He came over to the couch and leaned over it so he could see me. I kept crawling back and forth behind the couch because I was trying to be a moving target. I was trying to get in a position so that if he shot me it would go through me and not kill me. It didn't work because he shot me in my neck. I was holding my neck as it bled when I woke up. After I woke up I realized it was Darrell Hammond from SNL who was trying to rig the raffle and who shot me. But in the dream he looked like that creepy hit man in Grosse Point Blank- the guy John Cusack kills with a pen- in the neck!!!! Weird.

Scary World Take-Over

I went to high school (I AM ALWAYS IN HIGH SCHOOL IN DREAMS!) and it was super chaotic, but no one would tell me what was going on. I tried to ask a teacher, and she laughed like I was making a joke. After all, how could I *not* know that it was the apocolypse? We weren't allowed to leave, but I needed to see my family. So I ran to my car and drove down a street where all these scary guys in black and orange uniforms were shooting at me with machine guns. Actually they were shooting everywhere. Somehow I managed to get back to the school safe and sound. The people there were like, "Uh, yeah DUH you're not supposed to be driving around cuz you'll OBVIOUSLY get shot." Some people called them terrorists. But it almost seemed like they were not quite human. They were taking over the area and just shooting up everything and everybody. Their war tactics were superior to anything we had, and all police interventions were futile. I dove through some bushes and wore all black. I crept up upon them. I wanted to check out these assholes up close. Almost immediately they caught me. I threw my hands up. "I SURRENDUR!" I started to beg for my life and started to bargain with one of the more sympathetic seeming dudes. I told him I had not only a regular DVD player to give him that he could sell, but I also had a fancy DVD player that could play VHS, DVDs, and some 3rd type of technology. He seemed interested and hesitated. I also offered him my body which he was not interested in. He let me walk ahead of him to give him these goods. Then some of his war buddies started shouting - they needed his help. "Wait here!" he commanded. But as soon as he turned the corner, I RAN as fast as I could, into a random house and hid in a closet.

holy crap

on a dark and chilly day, i was downtown madison, southeast of the capitol, where there was a giant bus station. like in a dark, dirty, dank parking garage. i was lost and did not know which bus to get on to get home. i decided to walk. as i was walking downtown, i passed an alley and took a step into it and when i saw a bunch of homeless people loitering there, i turned back and walked away. i encountered a pimp who was in some way giving me a hard time when my friend marc showed up. the pimp shot me many times but the bullets didn't go through me but left small skin abrasions. i felt a large force of pressure each time but no pain. i walked home with marc and at his door when we were saying goodbye, i told him i'd like to give him a kiss to say thank you for rescuing me. he then started fidgeting with his cat's litterbox which was on a shelf nearby, scooping the litter and adding potato flakes to it. i remember being uneasy that he was touching it with his bare hands. eventually, his attention turned back to me and we kissed. he was the worst kisser ever. it was closed-mouth and he tilted his head left and right. i didn't say anything but felt bad for him to find out that he was such a bad kisser, which i never knew before. i feel bad for saying this now but i was relieved that it was closed-mouth so i wouldn't have to taste his cigarette breath. haha!!

next sequence...
i was with an old friend that i used to work at a group home with. we were at the home to visit one of the residents. we were in his room using his phone to call him. he was downstairs but we still communicated over the phone. i asked him for his cell phone number and he kept giving me his room phone number which i was already on. it was confusing. i later found out that the home had live-in staff now because the two people who became live-ins, did all the work anyway.

next sequence...
i was in some sort of class to learn how to interview people and be on tv. it was me and two instructors/coaches. i sucked at everything. i had to interview this woman (a personal friend who i didn't seem to know in the dream) and was given cue cards that had strange formatting so i couldn't really follow them. there was also a newspaper article written about this woman that i had to go on but did not read it until during the interview. i did not even know her name so made one up in the moment and my coaches praised me for thinking on my feet in a way that the viewer wouldn't notice that i had made a mistake. i learned that she had collected some rare antique by accident that was worth a lot of money. during the interview, the woman was drunk and drifted away from me, leaving me standing with the microphone not knowing what to do.

next sequence...
there was a house in the middle of the ocean, on a platform of cement that extended about a foot out from the house. the waves were crashing up onto the platform where i was sitting with another woman and a beautiful little girl. both of their hair was blowing in the wind and the water was a beautiful blue. it was a relaxing moment and i wanted to live there. soon, a barge passed and then a large boat full of children approached and the children were all smiling and waving at us. a small sport boat approached. the driver was some younger male who i thought was trying to show off. he flipped the boat upside down near some large rocks peaking out of the water. then some people were at the house with us, like a group of about 15-20 that seemed to be tourists. i heard one woman say she was from wisconsin so i asked her about it and she said that she used to be married to someone from wisconsin. she seemed bothered by my asking. then i was inside the house which had sort of a mod theme. the ceilings were low and so was all the furniture. lots of solid colored accents. my hub was with me and he was texting with his new phone and showed me this new feature where he could text with his number pad. wow. it blew my mind.

el fin.

i did yoga before going to bed last night so i blame that.

Shooting Dogs and the Like

Last night's dream was WEIRD. Before I fell asleep I played World of Warcraft for the first time for a couple of hours.

WOW-induced dream:

My companion and I were wondering around a land and people kept shooting at us. Another couple, to be precise. They were across the street and we were hiding behind some bushes. They were standing near a street sign so to scare them I shot the street sign which then fell down. It worked! But in all of this shooting, I killed a dog by mistake. Then we were in a college dormitory and an official guy came up to us with a picture of the dead dog. I was very nervous that we were caught but he just wanted to let us know about the situation.

Later my family wanted us all to go to some farm together, but I did not want to go. I wanted to stay at home. My mom was mad at me for this. I also wet the bed a lot (in my dream! not real life!) and was embarrassed and wanted them to leave so I could hide the evidence. (similar theme to my last dream about Poop and Boyz!)

I also had sex with a girl who kept blowing in my ear. For some reason there was a lot of weird sexual stuff related to people blowing in each others ears.

Proving Ourselves

So in my dream, I'm a kid, but also my present age, and I'm with my immediate and extended family at "an old friend's house." In real life, I feel like it was my parents very old friends, the Kumars (Dr. Kumar sold my parents their first house for a buck or something and their son was a county supervisor here in Madison until last year). But the family we were visiting did not look like the Kumars. They were Indian, however. Just a different family.

There were two men in their twenties and one who was a teenager, maybe about 13 or 14 (the sons of the family we were visiting). While our parents sat in the dining room talking, the older sons came into the side room of the house where my siblings and cousins and myself were. The two men were holding machine guns and had bandanas around their heads that looked curiously like what Ralph Macchio wore in the The Karate Kid.

The two men announced that we were about to play a game to "prove ourselves." They headed out to the giant, dark backyard, guns in hand, and we all kind of looked at each other. Their younger brother got ready to go meet them, and we all knew he was about to get shot because nobody was as good at the game as the older brothers were. He looked devastated and full of dread as he slowly walked outside.

My siblings and cousins and I sat around, half watching television and half talking about why we shouldn't have to participate in this game. We kept saying things like "Isn't it time to leave anyhow?" And "We should check with the parents to see if we can get a ride home." We knew our turn was coming though.

At some point, one of the older men brought my friend D into the room and held him up against a dark green door. He used some thing on him that looked like it shocked him, and then something else that looked like a nail gun. He put the nail gun right up to D's chest and shot it. We knew D wasn't hurt or dead - he had just lost the game.

Finally we went into the room where all the parents were, which was bright and pink and yellow, full of cakes that were pink and white. The carpeting was yellow too. "Why didn't you guys get dessert?" my mom asked?

Then we left.

Grappling Hook

Only a snippet of this dream poked thru the memory veil:

I was walking a dusty trail in The West.  Coming towards me was a wagon and a giant man walking alongside the horses.  He must have been 12 feet tall and well-muscled.  Without thinking my hand went to my gun, but he just looked down at me and smiled as he pulled back his duster to reveal the full-sized shotgun he had in his hip holster.  So I gave up on confrontation in my mind and he seemed to recognize this and dropped his coat back over his gun.  

Then, so quickly I am not able to see his movements, he whips out a grappling hook and swings it around his head a few times and launches it backwards without even looking and grapples the face off the driver.  This is not disgusting in any way as his face simply 'pops' off.  The giant laughs and I feel relieved.  Then I think "I'm not sure a grappling hook works like that,"  recognizing this as a true statement wakes me.

(continuing foodsperiment)

I was on the top of some decently high building where there was an unknown man with a shotgun.  He shot me in the stomach before we even had an exchange or I could do anything.  It was impactful but not painful.  I reeled and wove to the edge of the building and he kept shooting at me, but missed each time.  But each shot hit an innocent bystander on the ground.  

I jumped off the building and landed safely on the ground.  There was a bystander lying bleeding much worse than me and his ladyfriend was screaming that it shold have been me that was hurt so bad, as if it were my fault.  I felt very sorry for her his predicament, but the shotgunner was up there somewhere so I had to keep going.

Grunting along under the stomach-wound, I had to hold my guts in.  But when my hand covered my abdomen it was fine and I realized I was dreaming...

[I ate a bowl of chicken enchiladas right before bed last night]