a little hazy

i was with someone i knew (perhaps the hub?) and we were traveling somewhere. i recall a large coliseum-type structure that we were in the neighborhood of. i think we meant to be at the coliseum but we had lost my sister who was with us. before we lost her, the three of us were looking for my mom. i remember thinking that we shouldn't have let my sister just go around the corner to look for our mom for a minute, because that's how we then lost my sister. so, we popped into random places as we were looking for my sister (screw looking for my mom at this point, i guess). one place we went into was a small, dark house. by then, i was carrying a tiny baby with me. it wasn't my baby - it seemed to be a friend's baby, i think. i put it down on a kitchen table, all swaddled and laying there. i opened up what was a bedroom door and saw a young woman against the wall across the room, crouched down with her arms folded around her knees. i felt intrusive so closed the door right away, then thought that perhaps she was in trouble as she looked sad or scared. so i opened up the door. this time, people appeared from other sides of the room and said, "maybe she can help us." they were debating having an orgy and that one girl was having second thoughts. it was very pragmatic, actually. she wasn't uncomfortable with the act itself - it was more like she just didn't know if she knew *how* to have an orgy. i'm not sure i was much help but the group came out of the room and i think one of them was perez hilton and he and i talked a bit. he was very chatty and a little flamboyant. i then went back to the baby and was able to catch it right before it was about to roll off the table.

Living With My Friend's GIrlfriend

I dreamed I was standing in my apartment in Madison, only it was a different apartment than I live in now. It had a big, old looking, wooden bed with a quilt on it. The quilt looked like something you'd see in a real "American" bed and breakfast or something. Sort of like this, but not such a big pattern in the middle:



I was with my friend and his girlfriend, standing in the apartment, when I realized that this girlfriend was moving out of this apartment. I didn't even know she lived there! SHe had packed up most of her things already and would be gone that day.

I looked at her and my friend, and looked back at the bed, and wondered where she slept. I couldn't remember ever having shared a bed with her. "Did you ever sleep here?" I asked her. She smiled, but didn't answer me.

I also wondered where she put all her clothes, since I have both closets full of clothes and shoes and purses and junk (this is true in real life; I have two regular sized closets that are totally full). A door opened to another room I'd never before seen. It was like a dressing room and had all her clothes and a sewing machine inside. Off of that room, there was yet another room that had a giant furnace in it. For some reason, when I looked at it, I exclamined "We have laundry in here! I can't believe I didn't know that!" I was so excited because of the convenience, but then I immediately felt lazy since I did have laundry (just like in real life), it's just down in the basement. So lazy!

Lia's Dream

My friend Lia told me her dream over a gmail chat this morning. Short and Sweet:

Lia: Oh, I have to tell you about a crazy dream I had the other night...Th to Fri. I was at your house and there was a group of people there and we were "smoking" pot. But the way we were "smoking" was that there was a glass of water with weed in it and someone would take a sip, gargle, and pass. Totally disgusting!

What's Grosser Than Gross?

This dream is grosser than gross, friends. Consider yourself warned.

I dreamed about my scar from a brown recluse spider bite. The scar is a keloid, it's huge and on my upper right thigh and totally cute. I'm kidding. It's actually not that bad but people definitely react when they see it and hear that it is the result of me being attacked by a poisonous spider.

So in the dream there was this corn syrup and rubbing alcohol mixture that was dripping everywhere. I was wearing shorts and some got on my thigh right near my scar. As it dripped down my leg and the flesh across the top of my scar sizzled like it was being burned by acid- but in my mind it felt really good. The scar immediately started oozing - thick yellowish puss started flowing from the old wound. I got a napkin to clean it up but so much was coming out it was impossible, and now the puss had streaks of blood in it too. So I got a cup and started collecting the puss. (VOMIT, I know!!!)

In the end my scar was all flat and small and pink. And I felt incredibly relieved.

The Boss (not Bruce unfortunately)

My friend Alex's boss haunted my dreams last night. Because I don't know what he looks like, he changed forms from one creepy older gray/white-haired man I've seen at the capitol/in court/on the street to another.

Alex's office looked the same as it does in real life but it was located at the top of the Sears Tower. The elevator up required you to be strapped in like a ride at Six Flags. I had a little girl with me who was too short for the straps so I had to hold on to her for 35 floors (yes, specifically 35, though the Sears Tower is certainly taller than that).

I was supposed to go out to dinner with Alex and his coworkers but when I got to his office no one would talk to me. Alex looked at me annoyed and said "I'm working and I'll find you when I'm done." I sat down and it was cold and there were no blankets and I didn't have a cardigan. I found an art magazine to read and The Boss came over and started mocking me and art itself. I had some smartass response that made him laugh. There was evil gleaming in his eyes.

When we walked to the restaurant the streets looked like Chicago and it was winter. I realized that the little girl left her jacket behind and we had to go back up the elevator. The Boss laughed sarcastically and sneered "good luck in finding us."

A Year in India

I dreamed I was in India with my friend Alex. We were inside an apartment that was full of open windows with long pink (light pink and magenta) curtains blowing in the breeze. Several rooms in the apartment were round, or maybe hexagonal, and lined with these windows. There was a big white bed in one of these rooms.

We left the apartment and stood out on the street, looking back at the door through which we'd just exited. It was at this point that I realized I'd committed to spending the next year in India. I immediately felt anxious, mostly about things like finding a cell phone and appropriate cell phone plan, and paying my bills back home. Later, I realized the big picture problem; I also didn't want to spend a year in India. I spoke out loud to my mother (who wasn't there physically) "I'd spend maybe a month here, maybe two. I want to go other places too - like China."

Alex and I stood on a street together. The street was gray and filthy and full of trash. There were bits of garbage in the gutter, like the red and white cardboard from a case of Coca Cola, and flattened aluminum cans, and bits of old newspaper. It felt really lonely and desolate and scary. Alex was about to leave. "Wait, which door do I go through to get back to the apartment?" He looked back and I followed the path of his eyes, and saw a sign that said something like "Beautiful Babies" or "Bathing Beauties" or something like that. Double Bs.

I was so relieved when I woke up this morning, and had to remind myself about six times that it was a dream and that I didn't have to go to India.

Failing School and Scary Animals

I keep having dreams about forgetting to go to class and failing. Last night I was in college and taking 3 classes, 2 of which I were getting F's in. I planned to stay up all night cramming for the exam in one of them to at least pass the class. And I was upset because I was failing 2/3 of my classes, so why bother paying for all this school? *

Also there were scary animals - kind of like eels. I kept capturing them and trying to kill them, but they would divide and wriggle away. I've had lots of scary animal dreams, especially about fish (since recently aquiring a pet goldfish).

*I've been done with school for 4 years. When will I stop dreaming about it?

liar

so i dreamt that i went to a show with my friend kayte. we were the only people watching the band. for some reason i told kayte these huge lies about how sweet i was at playing drums. kayte thought it was awesome that i could play drums and she said we should start a band. the band we were seeing overheard us and said we could play with their instruments when they were done. i was terrified. so we went up there and i could, surprisingly, play the drums a little. i was relieved because the drummer of the band we saw was really cute.

LOL, and SOL I guess?

Two days ago I woke up remembering that I had laughed very hard and sang in my dream. All out loud. But I don't remember what I dreamed about.

Dolly N Me

Last night I had a dream that that Dolly Parton and I made a scrap book together. Mostly this scrapbook was cut out pictures of porcelain dolls that we liked and also wigs we really liked too. Interspersed through the scrap book were cut outs of picture of kids from magazines. We would place heart stickers next to the kids and write swear words in the hearts. For example there was a picture of a little girl and a puppy and we had put a heart sticker next to her and written "SHIT YEAH!!". Dolly and I also had matching yellow t-shirts we would wear when we made this scrapbook with handlebar mustaches on them.

Mish-Mash of Common Themes

Last night was like a managerie of all the common dream themes I have.

At various points I was:

-walking around, then realized I had no shirt on, felt embarassed but just crossed my arms in front of me and kept going

-wondering around a huge academic building where I forget to go to class and the semester's almost over

-hanging out with my girlfriend, who sometimes turned into an ex-girlfriend

-seeing musicians. Last night they were various lesbo bands.

Ghost in my Apartment

In my dream, I saw some kind of ghost or spirit in my living room. I remember walking out of my bedroom knowing there was a spirit in the room, right near the small couch and coffee table. Suddenly, I was turned around, looking back into my bedroom, and the spirit was between my bed and the wall, about 3 feet to the left of the window that looks out onto the lanai. It was black and/or dark, and it looked tall and thin, but was shapeless, like a wall of dark mist. It moved very slightly, as if an extremely gentle breeze was blowing through it, but in slow motion.

I said to it "I know you're here. I pray that you leave peacefully. I hope this is okay." I also remember thinking of that episode of Sex and the City in which Miranda has a ghost and Samantha tells her to deal with it by acknowledging its presence, then asking it to leave. Glad to know I take my advice from that show...

After that, the spirit wasn't there anymore, but I was nervous to go back to sleep in my dream.

American Cheese

I dreamed that I handed my sister a piece of American cheese that I'd taken out of its wrapper. Two of the corners were hard and darker than the rest.

Sorry, sister! I'll bring you wonderful cheese in real life, I promise.

How To Put On A Bathing Suit

Sometime last week I dreamed all about putting on a bathing suit. I was in a gym locker room and Sara M. was helping me find a bathing suit. She was reaching into this big dishwasher/oven looking thing and pulling them out, one by one. She handed one to me.

It took me forever to figure out how to put it on. The straps were all wrong, and I kept putting my arms through the wrong sleeve. Then after I finally got it on, it was all crooked and I couldn't straighten it to save my life. It covered everything, but was super off-center. Also, I realized that it was white. Booo! I can't wear a white bathing suit! It'll be see through and you'll see everything!

So Sara hands me another one from the oven, this time, a red one. This is equally difficult to put on. I finally get it on sort of correctly, and realized I was wearing black tights underneath, as well as black high heels. They only came up mid-thigh though, so there was this awkward area of skin between the top of the tights and the bottom of my suit. I wasn't sure if this was how I was supposed to go swimming (wearing black tights and heels), so I looked around the locker room. Nobody else was wearing tights, so I took them off.

The Hell's Satans

I don't remember my dream very well, but I know I was hanging out with some friends from high school. At one point, one of them said he thought I hated him in high school. I hugged him and said no, I never hated him, I was just socially awkward. We had a slumber party. One friend brought an inflatable water bed. At 9:30 in the morning we got drunk on vodka tonics to the point where I spilled mine. He looked at me and said, "Normally I'm not self-destructive like this." There was a tone of judgement in his voice.

Then we went to a tavern with a group of friends, some from college. We wanted to see the band play, and then suddenly it was beautiful classical music in a fancy music hall. One of my friends, J, who I have not seen in several years brought in a sandwich from Subway. She took off the plastic wrap and it was REALLY LOUD and crinkly, and everyone stared at her until she got kicked out. She was extremely upset, so I walked her and her baby (who suddenly appeared) home.

When we were walking home we passed a few guys who looked very tough. Lots of tattoos. They were very scary. Okay, in real life I wouldn't see a biker with a lot of tattoos and get scared. But in my dream they were terrifying. I knew they were white supremacists, violent, and evil. Something happened when we passed them, I can't remember what, but it pissed them off. So I knew they were after us. They were going to kill us! I looked them up online and their "bike gang website" proved how evil and violent they were. I was in a panic, making phone calls, gathering belongings, we had to get out of there!!!! I can't remember how it ended.

Mission Dolores

I dreamed last night that I was walking in the Mission in San Francisco. I was looking for Mission Dolores. I circled a city block and I saw it looming in thy sky around the corner. The old church stood stiffly next to the curves and clay of the old Mission. I moved faster, eager to get inside.

I walked the grounds remembering the last time I was here with my mother in the fall last year. I looked for the graves of missionaries from my mother's home in County Tipperary in Ireland. I looked for the thatched hut. From across the grounds I heard a voice calling my name eagerly.

When I got to a clearing, I saw it was a woman named Maryam. I should clarify that in awake life, I've never met this woman or know who she is, but in my dream I remembered her from Iraq. I also remembered that she was Persian, then I corrected my memory that she was French. I remembered she was married to a kind, brilliant older man who wore tweed and smoked a pipe. I also remembered she was a professor of Women's Studies. I can't recall another dream I've ever had where my mind created so much history about a figment. I called out to her excitedly, "Bonjour!"

Maryam gathered up her girls around her, they were on a trip abroad from the university. She invited me to have tea with them. She quizzed me excitedly about how my parents are doing. We moved under an archway into the shade, and one of the girls laid out a sparkly, gauzy blanket that we all settled down on. A clay tea pot was produced and a plate of flaky cookies was passed. The conversation was exciting and delicious as the snack; I felt inspired.

When we finished, the girls got up from the blanket and I noticed that the blanket now bore symbols like seashells, some zodiac signs and other images I don't remember. I knew it was time to tell our fortunes. We all tossed the remnants of our tea cups onto the blanket and amazingly, the tea leaves started spinning in the air. As they would drift toward each of the symbols, the group would cry out what it meant. "Travel!" "Love!" "Swimming!"

Maryam kissed me on both cheeks as we bid goodbye. I walked back through the grounds of Mission Dolores and stopped at the sight of Mary framed by a golden orb. The paint was chipping and it looked like tears on her face. I pressed my palm on her cheek and thought of my mother, my grandmother, my sister and my sisterfriends. I thought about unexpected visits from Mary in Fatima, in Egypt, Guadalupe, Lourdes. Pieces of the paint-tears crumbled into my hand and I put them carefully into my coin purse. I felt so fortunate, so lucky, so blessed.