Nothing Better to Do

I was at some kind of school assembly that was taking place in a big field. There were hundreds of chairs organized in very neat rows, and a big square stage at the center of them all. I sat down in a row right behind some of my friends. Some music started playing, and even though I didn't recognize it, I knew when to begin singing and what lyrics and tune to sing. As soon as I started singing, I realized it was "Rosanna" by Toto. I looked up to check out the band that was playing it, and realized the lead singer of this band was the actual lead singer from the band Toto! I thought to myself, "he probably has nothing better to do." Also, he looked nothing like him in real life.

Later, my row of chairs was removed from the group by some kind of forklift, and then I was in the car with my brother Emil and cousin Luai, looking for a wedding gift for a cousin of ours in London. We drove to a part of Madison I'd never been to. There were several Arabic stores and a Home Depot. The street name started with the letter B. Emil picked out an ugly necklace as a gift, which I didn't really like, but I kept my mouth shut because I was bored and wanted to leave the store.

Choreographed Dance

I was abroad. A semester somewhere in Africa. I rode an elephant on the highway. He could go up to 45 mph. It was really fun.

Then I was at home on vacation. Some girl had a great idea. She decided to make our cats do a choreographed dance! We dressed them in nun outfits and they sang and danced. I said, "my mom will LOVE this - she loves singing nuns." This morphed into a group of college students doing a choreographed dance for their parents. It became huge. The song was very generic, but the audience knew it and sang along. I had the great idea to do a "punk rock verse" after the normal version of the song. I gave one of the performers a denim jacket I had in college with some band patches on it.

The show went great. I was the conductor, but instead of a stick I had some long dangly thing that kept hitting me in the arm. The students did great and each time they sang it it was bigger and better. At the end they got into a pyramid and held up flags. Then...Punk rock version! I shouted "1-2-3-4!" and they all danced around and for some reason stripped down to their underwear.

Afterwards we ate dinner and someone's dad saw one of the performing college students walking home in the snow in just his boxers. He said, "That guy is an idiot."

I'll Never Get Into Harvard

I got my fingers pierced. One finger on each hand. Kind of like a gem on the finger minus the ring. Later it turned into pierced wrists, like a stud on the outside of each wrist. It actually looked really cool. Kind of like this picture, but not quite.

I was hanging out with my college friends. We were all getting dressed up and showered and ready to go out. Helen said some nuns flirted with her. Someone I went to college with and can't remember her name right now was mad at me because she knocked on the door but I did not hear it so she had to wait. Sorry!

While I was in the shower, something weird and sexual happened. This girl I have not seen in probably 4 years saw me and informed me that due to the sexual incident, she would not be my friend anymore. I denied anything that happened, but she looked at me with pity and said no more friendship.

Then we were all at Harvard then at a fancy luncheon. I spilled my water or coffee all over the table. I got as many napkins as I could to clean it up, but it was quite a mess. This official lady came over to whisper to me, "Are you okay?" I said sure, I was fine. She looked at me with pity and said, "Well...The spilling thing..." And it was clear I could kiss my chance at Harvard good bye.

The Brother Totonchi

I dreamed that I was meeting Emil, Reem's brother (and Sarah's, though I've not yet met Sarah either), for the very first time.  For some reason I was in a hurry and really did not have time for this visit but thought I'd pop in briefly.  When I got there (Reem's place?), they were sitting around a tv.  I was introduced and then said that I had to get going pretty soon.  Emil begged me to stay, saying that we had to play some video game together.  I don't especially enjoy being put on the spot to play video games I've never played with people who play them all the time (in awake life) but I didn't want to be rude.  I stayed and played a game or two and Emil was soooo happy.  He was smiley and bouncy.

A Day in DeKalb

I dreamed I was with my friend Genia, visiting her hometown of DeKalb, IL. I've been to DeKalb numerous times in real life, but in my dream, I never had. In this dream, it was a booming city, really; there were two very tall buildings, one of which was painted with white and multi-colored checkers on the outside. We drove around in a car and I sat in the backseat with my head out the window like a dog, and I was fascinated with the city streets we passed.

Down one street, it looked like an olde-timey sort of area; old brown brick buildings with awnings and a lot of pharmacies. This one street had about 300 signs coming off buildings. Like this:



They each said the name of what kind of business it was, like "DENTIST," "STORE," "SHOES," and "TOYS," all in capital letters and written vertically. They were al different colors and overlapped with each other. It was amazing.

Down another street was two gigantic casinos. In a third location there was a coffee shop that's entrance was a giant octopus. Sort of like the Vortex in Atlanta, who's entrance is a giant skull:



There was other stuff that went on, but it mostly involved Genia and I drinking in a shitty bar and meeting two guys who tried to steal my two dollars worth of quarters. I'm not gonna dignify those dicks with anymore attention. So there!

The Longest Fart

Uh oh! I had a dream in which I was laying on a couch and my friend was sitting on the floor. I knew I had to fart, so I let out just a teensy bit, but it ended up being really loud! As soon as I realized it would be loud, I said "fuck it" and let it fly on its own - NO LIMITATIONS. TO THE EXTREME. Anyhow, that fart lasted forever! It just didn't stop! My friend looked up at me and said "Whoa!" and I was laughing and saying "I know! I know!" but I couldn't stop farting. It was one extremely long fart without a break. I think it must have lasted a couple of minutes.

Never Ending Store

I was shopping for a xmas gift for my gf. I went into a "cool" store that had like band t-shirts and cds and stuff. I was looking at the t-shirts for a while. Then I walked around the store. It grew and grew. I went down a level and saw beer. One of my old students was there looking at beer and we talked. Then I went back up to the shirts and looked at sex toys but they were very expensive and I knew some of the people in the store so I was self-conscious. I went back down a level. It was HUGE. I said, "I never knew this part of the store existed!" Someone said, "This floor is only open on Fridays." I was walking very fast; kind of stressed because I wanted to find the perfect gift and only had a certain ammount of time. There were stoned people everywhere. The nice chill ladies working said, "Chill out, take your time." They were selling very weird pipes and bongs with "legal bud". Some teenagers bought some and I asked if it was any good - they said yes but you had to smoke it "on the right axis." I tried to smoke some but they only had really weird looking pipes. I tried one that looked like a bird. One was really long and skinny like a chop-stick. Then I kept walking around the store. In one section they were giving someone tattoos. Then I found a cool row of weird toys. They were really cool looking - stuffed strawberries with faces and things. Kind of like these:
but different. Finally I left to go home and opened my bag. All I bought was a stupid obscure band t-shirt for some group I never even heard of. My gf wouldn't like that.

Luai Has a Mohawk

I dreamed that Luai had a mohawk. It looked pretty good.

That's it!

Jess Meets My Mom

I dreamed that my mom and I were driving around Madison in her car. We needed to stop by my friend Jess's house to drop off one box of Girl Scout cookies, even though I wasn't sure if they were hers or not. My mom pulled up and I jumped out of the car while she turned it around and parked it on the side of the street. I saw Jess in front of her house and handed her the box of cookies. She said she had something funny to show me. I was, of course, intrigued.

She held out a white tshirt and shook it so I could see what was on it. There was a giant Mickey Mouse and the phrase "If you fly this often, sometimes you have to reach for the ground." It was some kind of play on words in my dream, and it was referencing some other phrase about "reaching for the stars." We laughed and laughed and talked about how funny it was. She was giving it to me as a joke gift, and I was like "No! I don't want it! It's stupid!" and we laughed and laughed some more.

Then my mom came strolling up the walk. "Oh good," I thought. "She'll get to meet Jess and Mike." I looked at Jess to introduce her to my mom, but suddenly Jess gasped the word "DISNEY!" and was looking at my mom in horror. My mom was wearing the very tshirt we had been making fun of! "Um, this is my mom, Louise," I told Jess as I watched her hurriedly fold up the tshirt she was holding. They shook hands and everything was lovely and cordial.

I was happy that my mom and my friend were getting along so well and chatting like old buddies, so I'm not sure why I turned into a total asshole at this moment. I interrupted the conversation and asked Jess "So what's that tshirt you're holding?" She looked at me with a sort of "what the hell?" look and held it out to me. The whole time I was thinking "Why am I doing this?!" but I kept going. The shirt had transformed and the phrase was now written in French on the back of the shirt. My mom thought nothing of it and everybody was friends in the end. Whew. Sorry, Jess, that I was such a d-bag. This will not happen in real life. I promise.

Thin Ice

I dreamed that I was in a big house in what seemed to be a kids playroom. I was putting away toys and talking to someone. For some reason I had to leave and went outside. I was in the middle of a big warehouse district at night, there were big lights around the buildings. The house I was in was actually a factory of some sort and it was located next to a big lake. It was winter and starting to snow.

I started walking out onto the frozen lake that was covered with snow. I was talking on the phone to someone and telling them about Wisconsin winters. I was explaining how the lakes freeze and you can walk out onto the ice. I laid down in the middle of the lake in a pile of the fluffy snow talking. I told the person on the phone that you have to be careful when you are on the lake because certain parts do not freeze all the way. As I was talking I started to feel my body sinking a little. I realized I was laying on a part that was not completely frozen and my leg started to sink into the water. I started moving, carefully, to try and get to a part that was more frozen. I noticed the weather was getting warmer and warmer and the snow around me was melting fast. I was crawling- trying to get to the edge of the lake as fast as I could. All around me the ice was melting and sinking into the water. I crawled to the edge just as I was sinking into the water. I pulled myself up by the roots on the edge of the bank that was full of trees. I was able to stand up facing the lake and hold onto the trees with my arms to keep from falling in. I watched as the water kicked up huge waves.

A storm was starting. The waves were huge and crashing all over. The waves were picking up cars, that seemed to be coming out of the water, and throwing them into the air. They would come crashing down and water would splash everywhere. The wind was so strong that cars were being thrown around and one came flying towards me. I was able to move away quickly holding onto the trees as I walked. I thought to myself that I was stuck there because I forgot to take this little plastic toy with me that I had been holding onto in the kids playroom. If only I had that little toy then I could call for help. But then I realized I had my cell phone. I looked around at the edge of the lake and across thinking there was no way someone could come get me. I looked to the right and saw there was nothing to walk on if I tried to walk that way. To my left I could hold onto the trees and walk along the edge of the bank. I started walking along the edge holding onto trees as the waves crashed and flung cars around behind me. Once I got most of the way around the lake the bank turned into a brick walkway and widened. I was able to easily walk by the crashing waves and cars and back to the warehouse.

I woke up from my dream right when I opened the door to the warehouse.