Jess Meets My Mom

I dreamed that my mom and I were driving around Madison in her car. We needed to stop by my friend Jess's house to drop off one box of Girl Scout cookies, even though I wasn't sure if they were hers or not. My mom pulled up and I jumped out of the car while she turned it around and parked it on the side of the street. I saw Jess in front of her house and handed her the box of cookies. She said she had something funny to show me. I was, of course, intrigued.

She held out a white tshirt and shook it so I could see what was on it. There was a giant Mickey Mouse and the phrase "If you fly this often, sometimes you have to reach for the ground." It was some kind of play on words in my dream, and it was referencing some other phrase about "reaching for the stars." We laughed and laughed and talked about how funny it was. She was giving it to me as a joke gift, and I was like "No! I don't want it! It's stupid!" and we laughed and laughed some more.

Then my mom came strolling up the walk. "Oh good," I thought. "She'll get to meet Jess and Mike." I looked at Jess to introduce her to my mom, but suddenly Jess gasped the word "DISNEY!" and was looking at my mom in horror. My mom was wearing the very tshirt we had been making fun of! "Um, this is my mom, Louise," I told Jess as I watched her hurriedly fold up the tshirt she was holding. They shook hands and everything was lovely and cordial.

I was happy that my mom and my friend were getting along so well and chatting like old buddies, so I'm not sure why I turned into a total asshole at this moment. I interrupted the conversation and asked Jess "So what's that tshirt you're holding?" She looked at me with a sort of "what the hell?" look and held it out to me. The whole time I was thinking "Why am I doing this?!" but I kept going. The shirt had transformed and the phrase was now written in French on the back of the shirt. My mom thought nothing of it and everybody was friends in the end. Whew. Sorry, Jess, that I was such a d-bag. This will not happen in real life. I promise.