My boyfriend Bret Michaels saves me from the Bull Woman

Dudes, dudes, I have no choice but to confess that I have had yet another dream about Bret Michaels. This marks the third in a series, prompted no doubt by his recent brain hemorrhage, win of Celebrity Apprentice and appearance on American Idol- but who's keeping track?

I dreamed that Bret was my boyfriend and we were going to a sweat lodge in Kentucky. On the way there we passed a carpenter's work room and we stopped so he could show me what a great craftsman he is by making me a snow board. When we got to the site of the sweat lodge, we saw that it had been taken over by the evil bull-woman-with-claws from the second season of True Blood. I was really scared but my boyfriend Bret said "I'll protect you" and then I woke up and laughed my ass off.

Too Full for a Feast

I dreamed I cooked a feast. I wanted the feast to be as good as the one that the Other Mother makes Coraline in the movie, with cupcakes, roast chicken, cherry pie and a gravy train that runs on a track around the table to each plate of mashed potatoes:


My friend sat down to eat the magnificent feast and took a huge bite that overflowed from his spoon. He then leaned back in his chair and declared "That was great, but I'm full!" I started to get annoyed but then I noticed that his stomach started swelling - inflating actually, not unlike Violet Beauregard from Willy Wonka. Then his belt snaps and the buckle ricochets, breaking my window.

The Lawyer in the Kilt

I dreamed about this guy - this guy over here on the left - who is a lawyer that I know in real life who has written a poetry book that he is actually reading from at a pub (while wearing a kilt) in this picture. In my dream he was also wearing a kilt and reading from the poetry book at a pub, but the difference was that after he was done, he gave me a pool. A beautiful sparkling, Olympic size pool that I went swimming in.

Reykjavik, mostly

I was at an event where a large group of people were dancing some martial arts style dance.  I was somehow nominated to choose a team of dancers from the group so I had to pay attention to each person and it was a lot of pressure.  Then I was with a group of people from college, at a friend's wedding reception.  Everyone was split up into small rooms and "the cool crowd" was jam-packed into a room.  I decided to boycott the cool crowd because it was so overcrowded and competitive to get a drink and the bride & groom's attention.  I was a little bit pouty about it.

Then I was with a large group of friends and we found out we were going to Reykjavik, Iceland in a few hours.  It was a ridiculous idea but no one wanted to miss the opportunity.  So we got packed up to go.  As we flew over Iceland, I asked "Is this real?" because we were in small planes, the size of about 3 rollercoaster cars.  It was beautiful - clear skies, mountains, a lush green landscape below.  I kept thinking of Bjork and how it made so much sense that she was from here.  It was strange that there was no sign of volcanic ash in the sky and that we were cleared to fly.  I actually thought maybe we were on a 3-D ride at Disneyworld because these planes or helicopters were so small and rollercoaster-like.  They were so small that we were even able to zip through Reykjavik downtown and see shops, restaurants and cobblestone roads.  It looked like a great city.  At the hostel, our group bustled around finding our rooms and settling in.  Reem was there and wanted to watch a Cameron Diaz movie.  She kept asking others if it was a good movie, as she was really skeptical.  But she really wanted to watch it.  I remember thinking how lame it was that I was dreaming about a Cameron Diaz movie instead of dreaming of exploring Reykjavic on account of Reem.

Robert Downey Jr.

I was at a house - I don't know who's house it was, but I was possibly at a party, or babysitting, or something like that. Somebody told me, or I realized, that they were shooting a movie just a few houses away, and that Robert Downey Jr. was there. I immediately took off running, which is really cool because usually I can't run in dreams. I ran through the backyard of my aunt and uncle's house in Illinois, which seemed giant and like a jungle. There was mowed grass and flowers everywhere. Without stopping, I bent down to pick up a cut yellow rose that still had a ton of leaves attached to it and I kept running. I ran through all their neighbors' yards, going around wells and jumping over piles of sticks.

I finally got to the place they were filming, which was a big fancy hotel. In the lobby, there was a huge, oval-shaped fountain or some kind of structure that contained tons of plant life, little garden statues, and waterfalls, amongst other things. I ran around it a few times, but Robert Downey Jr. was always on the opposite site as I was. Finally, I reached him. They were in the middle of filming, but he stopped when he saw me and said "I'll always meet somebody!" I handed him the yellow rose and said "Thank you. Thank you for what you do." Then I ran back in the direction from which I came.

Later, I was mad that I hadn't stayed longer, because it seemed like he was friendly and would have talked to me more. When I saw my friends and family, I totally lied and told them all that Robert Downey Jr. had kissed me on the cheek. What a liar!


Such a fox!