Jess Meets My Mom

I dreamed that my mom and I were driving around Madison in her car. We needed to stop by my friend Jess's house to drop off one box of Girl Scout cookies, even though I wasn't sure if they were hers or not. My mom pulled up and I jumped out of the car while she turned it around and parked it on the side of the street. I saw Jess in front of her house and handed her the box of cookies. She said she had something funny to show me. I was, of course, intrigued.

She held out a white tshirt and shook it so I could see what was on it. There was a giant Mickey Mouse and the phrase "If you fly this often, sometimes you have to reach for the ground." It was some kind of play on words in my dream, and it was referencing some other phrase about "reaching for the stars." We laughed and laughed and talked about how funny it was. She was giving it to me as a joke gift, and I was like "No! I don't want it! It's stupid!" and we laughed and laughed some more.

Then my mom came strolling up the walk. "Oh good," I thought. "She'll get to meet Jess and Mike." I looked at Jess to introduce her to my mom, but suddenly Jess gasped the word "DISNEY!" and was looking at my mom in horror. My mom was wearing the very tshirt we had been making fun of! "Um, this is my mom, Louise," I told Jess as I watched her hurriedly fold up the tshirt she was holding. They shook hands and everything was lovely and cordial.

I was happy that my mom and my friend were getting along so well and chatting like old buddies, so I'm not sure why I turned into a total asshole at this moment. I interrupted the conversation and asked Jess "So what's that tshirt you're holding?" She looked at me with a sort of "what the hell?" look and held it out to me. The whole time I was thinking "Why am I doing this?!" but I kept going. The shirt had transformed and the phrase was now written in French on the back of the shirt. My mom thought nothing of it and everybody was friends in the end. Whew. Sorry, Jess, that I was such a d-bag. This will not happen in real life. I promise.

Thin Ice

I dreamed that I was in a big house in what seemed to be a kids playroom. I was putting away toys and talking to someone. For some reason I had to leave and went outside. I was in the middle of a big warehouse district at night, there were big lights around the buildings. The house I was in was actually a factory of some sort and it was located next to a big lake. It was winter and starting to snow.

I started walking out onto the frozen lake that was covered with snow. I was talking on the phone to someone and telling them about Wisconsin winters. I was explaining how the lakes freeze and you can walk out onto the ice. I laid down in the middle of the lake in a pile of the fluffy snow talking. I told the person on the phone that you have to be careful when you are on the lake because certain parts do not freeze all the way. As I was talking I started to feel my body sinking a little. I realized I was laying on a part that was not completely frozen and my leg started to sink into the water. I started moving, carefully, to try and get to a part that was more frozen. I noticed the weather was getting warmer and warmer and the snow around me was melting fast. I was crawling- trying to get to the edge of the lake as fast as I could. All around me the ice was melting and sinking into the water. I crawled to the edge just as I was sinking into the water. I pulled myself up by the roots on the edge of the bank that was full of trees. I was able to stand up facing the lake and hold onto the trees with my arms to keep from falling in. I watched as the water kicked up huge waves.

A storm was starting. The waves were huge and crashing all over. The waves were picking up cars, that seemed to be coming out of the water, and throwing them into the air. They would come crashing down and water would splash everywhere. The wind was so strong that cars were being thrown around and one came flying towards me. I was able to move away quickly holding onto the trees as I walked. I thought to myself that I was stuck there because I forgot to take this little plastic toy with me that I had been holding onto in the kids playroom. If only I had that little toy then I could call for help. But then I realized I had my cell phone. I looked around at the edge of the lake and across thinking there was no way someone could come get me. I looked to the right and saw there was nothing to walk on if I tried to walk that way. To my left I could hold onto the trees and walk along the edge of the bank. I started walking along the edge holding onto trees as the waves crashed and flung cars around behind me. Once I got most of the way around the lake the bank turned into a brick walkway and widened. I was able to easily walk by the crashing waves and cars and back to the warehouse.

I woke up from my dream right when I opened the door to the warehouse.

Brosephs and Bathrooms

I had a dream that I was at a house where a bunch of duders lived. I am not sure why I was there, but I had a few suitcases with me. I was looking for one of the guys that lived in the house, but couldn't find him anyway. I walked through all kinds of rooms and doors. I ran into one of the other guys who lived in the house and realized it was someone I had dated in high school. He had been pretty devastated by our breakup and I realized in the dream that he still liked me. I thought, this is not going to be fun. I kept searching for this guy and when I got back into the living room one of the other roommates in the house was going through my suitcase! I was so pissed because he had put on one of my vintage dresses and was dancing around in it obnoxiously. I yelled at him to take it off because he was "stretching it out!!!" He took it off and picked up another one and put that on and danced around in it. I was so mad. I looked around to see if anyone would tell their stupid roommate to leave me shit alone only to see that my ex was in the room organizing a bookshelf, he clearly did not care. So I started searching for the guy I had been looking for again. Also I had to go to the bathroom so I was kind of looking for both. I opened a door to a storage room and when I closed the door to walk away my ex was standing behind me and made a face, like "ha, that's not the bathroom." What a jerk. I finally found the bathroom, but the door was shut and locked! The guy I was looking for the whole time was in there!!! Then I woke up.

Greasy Hair and Tiny Paper Airplanes

I was with my friend Christopher in some kind of outdoorsy camp. We walked into a building that looked just like the basement of the old Arabic church we used to go to. He sat on one couch and I sat on another. A wrestler or boxer or something sat on the arm of the couch Christopher was sitting on; he wanted to show us how greasy his hair was. He took off his hat and shook out his hair, shaking grease everywhere. Some landed on Christopher's yellow shirt, in little spots. He stood up, pissed. I knew there was about to be a fight...

Or so I thought! Both men stood up, facing each other, eye to eye. The wrestler/boxer proclaimed that he would be the one to decide what the "challenge" would be. So it was to be a challenge rather than a fight! This is much better...Anyhow, Wrestler/Boxer decided they'd do a competition with paper airplanes. They'd each stand across the room, facing each other, and one would throw a paper airplane at the other, who would then have to catch it. If he caught it, he'd win. That was that.

"This'll be easy!" I thought to myself. Until! You know there's gotta be a catch. Wrestler/Boxer got to pick out which piece of paper he used for the paper airplane! He walked towards a crowd of people and picked a tiny post-it note off the wall. The crowd oohed and aahed as Christopher and I looked on, worried. He was a daring and cunning foe, this Wrestler/Boxer.

With a sly look upon his face, he folded the tiny post-it into an even tinier paper airplane, and the two men took their places. My stomach flipped over and over, and for some reason, a movie played on an old television on the floor. It was all of a sudden understood that the paper airplane would be thrown as soon as the end credits of the movie were over. Suddenly, the credits were over and the lights dimmed. Wrestler/Boxer threw the miniscule airplane and it spiraled out of control. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Christopher dive for it and land behind an old brown couch. Silence filled the room as he emerged from behind the couch, a crumpled paper airplane in his hand. Cheers erupted and I went to hug him. We immediately headed out of the room, arm in arm. He was wearing my red sweater.

Short, Sweet, Etc.

I had a dream that I was dating Jim from The Office. We were hanging out with a big group of people; either my family, or the cast from the office. We sat together on a big, soft, green couch. He had his arm around me and I sat close to him. All of a sudden, he farted! I could tell only because I felt it through the couch. I looked at him, and he did that look he does when he looks right at the camera with his eyebrows raised.

I'm talking about the first face he makes in this video:


Really, Jim? You make that face even after you fart?

Short but Not So Sweet

I had a dream that my hair was UGLY.
Then I woke up in real life and my hair was UGLY.

so simple part 2

Just like kittymodern only 3 days ago, I too had a dream that I understood football! I felt all relieved while I was watching it, like "Riiiiight. THIS is how they get points. Field goals."

I can't believe of all things that could be themes on this blog, it is FOOTBALL. I'm a little amazed and disappointed in us.

Flavor Flav and the Magical Barn

I dreamed that I lived in a beautiful old farmhouse that had so much potential if I only had the time to work on it. It had this rundown but charming barn behind it that was my favorite part.

I had to leave my farmhouse to run a benefit for Georgians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty. We fed people southern barbecue there. In the middle of my speech Flavor Flav started heckling me and being a total jerk. He offended everyone and people started leaving. I started crying at the podium and then ran backstage.

When I saw Flav in the hallway I yelled at him "you cost us $10,000!! you have to give me a $10,000 donation to make up for this!" Then I made myself a to-go plate of barbecue and went home.

When I got home I saw that my friends had all been working on the barn - they turned it into a magical wonderland place with chinese lanterns, lots of blue ceramic tile and antiques on shelves. Ela had built a sweat lodge inside the barn and Mica had assembled a tea party with old cast iron tea kettles.

so simple.

I had a dream that I understood football.

Senators and Homeless People

I dreamed last night that my college diploma was deemed invalid so I had to go back to Berry College to take an economics class. The Chairman of Georgia's Senate Judiciary Committee (a friend) was my economics professor. Berry College is huge (the biggest campus in the world actually) and I couldn't find my shoes and it made me move around like molasses. And apparently the City of Atlanta decided to solve its homelessness problem by dropping off all these street people at Berry. They kept chasing me. The Chairman/economics professor drove an SUV and picked me up as I was being chased. I was grateful, but then I saw another state senator who I hate was in the front seat - this guy spits when he talks and gets bright red and sounds like a lunatic ranting and raving- very unpleasant. So I got back out of the SUV- I chose homeless chasers over crazy Senator Wiles!!!!