Secret Admirer

I was in a suite on the top floor of a fancy hotel. I'd just gotten out of the shower and was in a white bathrobe and towel when there came a knock at my door. It was a little boy, about three years old, who handed me a note. I took it, thanking him, and remembering that "this had been happening all night." That is, little kids were delivering notes to all the hotel guests all night and this was the third one I'd received.

As the boy turned to leave, I realized that I recognized him. "Hey, are you Reginald?" I asked. He looked back at me and his clothes transformed from regular clothes to a plaid short-pants outfit and he said "yeah." I knew him from this website. If you ever want to know what's funny in life, check that link.

After Reginald left, I opened the note. It was from a secret admirer. It told me to open my door at 8:00 pm and follow the trail. The trail would be made out of "gruyère cheese pieces, each topped with a savory onion ring" (word for word, what I remember), and that there would be nine of them leading me to my secret admirer. The note was typed in a pretty, swirly font, but somebody had crossed out "8:00 pm" and written, in sloppy handwriting and with a pen that was clearly running out of ink, "ten after 9:00."

I was excited for a little while until I realized it might be this one particular ex-boyfriend of mine, who I would never ever want to get back together with. I got all nervous and started practicing how to "let him down easy."