Sunday, April 26, 2009

Friday Night: A long walk pantsless with Ellen and a Steak

It was very complex. It began by me shopping with my little sister for dinner at a grocery store. I bought a steak to cook her. But when I left the store, I couldn't find her! Even though she is now 17 in real life, in my dreams she is always a little tot. So I was very worried. I returned to the store to look for her. The cashier was puzzled. "Back so soon?" "I'm looking for my sister," I explained. I decided to walk home, and bring the steak to my sister. I was walking in East Grand Rapids, MI, where I lived in real life from about 1983-1990. The streets looked exactly the same. I was walking and walking and I felt like I was walking so slow! Then I realized my tight boxer shorts were constricting my movements under my jeans. So I took them off. "Ahh, much better" I thought as I could walk faster. But then I realized, I did not put my jeans back on. But my t-shirt was sort of long, so it was not too bad. As I was walking, I passed Ellen Degeneres. She smiled at me and said Hello. I was excited to see her but kept walking. As I was walking through an area with lots of trees, and older man who sort of creeped me out said, "You know that the earth is being destroyed due to acts of God, don't you?" I wanted to ignore him, but this statement made me so angry. I turned around and said, "You mean acts of MAN!" He smiled as though he had expected this, and walked with me. He was not creepy after all, which was good, particularly as I still was not wearing pants. I passed Ellen Degeneres again. This time she was busy shooting a scene or something and did not even bother saying hello to me. Bitch. By the time I got all the way home to cook my sister a steak, it was 5:30am. I realized that it was almost breakfast time, so the steak would be inappropriate at this hour.

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